How To Make Your Routines Work and Feel Good
Sometimes we can become complacent with the routines we already have although they may not work or feel good for us. But you must understand that you have the power in changing your routine to being one that is effective and feels good. Plus revamping your routine doesn't have to take much work, all it takes to create a sustainable routine is intentionality and creativity.
In this episode of the Routine and Things Podcast, I'm sharing the key components for creating routines that are effective and enjoyable, plus you'll learn why it's of utmost importance to have routines that work and feel good for you.
Word For Word
Ashley Brown 00:00
[Intro] Routines, my absolute favorite word, but you either love them or you hate them. And either way, I strongly believe that routines can be a springboard for improving your home, yourself and your life. I'm Ashley Brown, and this is the Routine and Things Podcast. In each episode, we'll dive into a specific routine or point of view that will move you closer to enjoy life more and more each day. Trust me, you're gonna want to keep listening, because you're well on your way to getting and staying happy.
Ashley Brown 00:47
Hey, I am so happy you're joining me today. And so in this episode today what we are going to be talking about is how to make your routines work and feel good. That is the topic of today. We're going to be discussing that. Because there's a difference. It's a difference between a routine that works and a routine that feels good. But your routine must be both in order for you to actually be able to stick to your routine, and it'd be more sustainable for you. So that is what we're discussing today. So first, I want to review the five routines that your home should have, because that's what we talked about in last week's episode. So if you didn't catch last week's episode, go back and listen to the five routines that you should have in your home. Because a really good episode that breaks down each routine. And it goes through the five routines, which are planning, children, cooking, cleaning, and self care. Those are the five routines that you should have in your home. And so I just wanted to review those because I might be throwing out some routines today. I want you to be very clear about what the routines are that I'm going to be talking about. And we will be diving into each of those routines in depth starting next week. So every episode after today will be an episode that is solely dedicated to talking about each routine. So that's going to be something that's fun to talk about. So let's get into it. So like I said before, it is a huge difference between a routine that works and a routine that feels good. It is a must that your routine works and feels good. That is a non negotiable. It must work for you and feel good for you if you want to keep it sustainable, if you want to keep it in rotation, if you want to have fun with it, and for it to continuously instill a sense of peace in your life, it must work and it must feel good. But there's a difference between the two.
Ashley Brown 02:55
So let's talk about what it actually means for something to work, for you routine to work. So a routine that works just basically means it's effective. And it gets the job done. You meet your goal of whatever it was, and the job is done, and it was effective. So that's all that having a routine that works means is that it's effective. It gets the job done, and you met your goal.
Ashley Brown 03:26
Now let's move into a routine that feels good though. What does that actually mean? A routine that feels good means that it's fun for you. You don't dread it, you actually enjoy what you are doing. Right? So that is the difference in having a routine that works and having a routine that feels good. And combination helps you to keep your routines are alive and thriving and sustainable for you because desperately The key, we want our routines to be sustainable, and to last. And so if they are going to last right, we need to make sure that they are effective, and that we enjoy doing them. And so I'm going to be going through ways that you can help make your routine work and feel good. So before we get into that, I want to share some ways to know if your routine doesn't work or feel good for you. Because sometimes ineffective routines can become really normal for us. Like we are doing them day in and day out. And even though they may be chaotic, even though they may be confusing and not work or not feel good, we will keep going. Because it's what we know and we've gotten into a pattern. So I want to give you some things to think about. Just to kind of give you a heads up if your routine doesn't work or feel good and you've gotten so much into a pattern that you don't recognize that it's chaotic or that it doesn't work or feel good for you. So these are some things to think about. If instead of you running the show around your home, your kids dictate when things happen. Possibly you may have a routine that doesn't work. Because as parents, we should be dictating what happens in our home. Now, that doesn't mean that our children don't have input. They can voice their opinions, their concerns, their questions, that the end of the day, we are to provide the structure stability and predictability for our kids for the most part. And so they shouldn't be running the entire show in the home, they should be helping. But as parents, we have the responsibility in deciding how routines work and what routines actually are going to be taking place in our home.
Ashley Brown 05:47
So the next thing I want you to think about is if you're constantly playing catch up, when it comes to caring for yourself, and your home. So if you're constantly trying to catch up in your home, catch up with self care, catch up with things that you have been putting off. And you never really truly find a way to actually get ahead of the things that you have to do for yourself in your home, then yes, this can mean that your routine is not effective, and it doesn't feel good. So that's something to think about.
Ashley Brown 06:24
If your mornings feel rushed and bed time is a struggle. If your mornings feel rush and bedtime is a struggle, then girl, your routines are probably not affected, and they probably do not feel good and that's probably why they're not effective. Okay, so that's something for you to think about. And also you constantly complain about caring for your home and think of it as a burden. So if you're constantly ever in your home complaining on a regular basis, about oh my gosh, I have to do this today and I have to do that. I can understand sometimes complaining feels good, but it's not effective. Right? I always say, I could complain, but ain't gonna change anything. So if you are constantly complaining in your home, then maybe this is an indication that your routines are not working or that they don't feel good to you. So these are some things to think about to kind of decide what day may my routine doesn't work, or maybe it doesn't feel good. And so I'm going to give you some ways, and some tips and suggestions for how to make your routines actually work for you and feel good for you.
Ashley Brown 07:39
So, let's get into first what makes a routine work? What are some components of a routine that works? So there are four components actually, to helping to make your routine work for you and your family. The first one is your routine must be realistic. Okay, this is not the time for you to be in fairytale land. Okay? Your routine must be realistic. What I mean by that is that it has to realistically work for you and your family. So for example, when do you put your children to bed? Sometimes we can compare ourselves to other families and you hear one mom say, Well, our children go to bed by seven. And then you look around and you're looking, you're like, my children go to bed at 9:30 like, am I doing something wrong? No. Because does that realistically work for you and your family? What if you work into seven o'clock at night, you and your partner or just you. What if you work to seven o'clock at night, and when you get off, you want to spend time with your kids. You go pick them up from school, or go pick them up from daycare, go pick them up from the sitter. And when you get home after getting off at seven o'clock, it is now eight o'clock. But you still may want to spend time with your child. So putting them to bed at 930 works because it gives you time to spend with your child. And then it gives you time to actually do your bedtime routine. So that could be realistic for you and your family. Maybe you and your family are night owls. I know some families who stay up later, and their children stay up later because in the mornings, they wake up later. That works for them, it's realistic for them and their families. So I want you to really think about that and ask yourself. Is this realistic for me, is realistic for me and for my family because it's not a time for you to compare yourself. Because comparison is a distraction, to be perfectly honest. And so what are we going to distract ourselves for thinking about the next family and the next home when we are in our homes and what feels good for us and what's realistic for our family. So just think about that. What is realistic for your family?
Ashley Brown 10:17
So next, in order for your routine to work, your routine must be manageable. This is so important. Your routine must be manageable. This means can it be maintained? Is your routine manageable for you? So for example, I am a morning dishwasher. Yep. I'm wanting a dishwasher here. I do not wash dishes at night. And my mama might have something to say about that. But Mama, it's okay girl, it's manageable for me. So I am a morning dishwasher. Because when I wash dishes at night, I am very tired and so it has been when I used to wash dishes at night, it would be that every other night, it would be like two nights, maybe sometimes three nights that went by that I did not wash dishes. Why? Because at night, I was too tired. And I want to spend time with my family. And I didn't want to go into the kitchen after I put my kids to bed in order to wash dishes. And so they started to get put off and pushed off. And so that's when I made the conscious decision to switch my dishwashing routine to the morning. So think about that. Is your routine manageable? Can it be maintained or do you keep pushing off things? Because honestly, it's not manageable for you. Also, when you think about is it manageable for you? Think about how much is in your daily routine. How much are you actually doing right? So for example, in your cleaning routine, your daily cleaning routine Are you trying to get eight things done every day? Are you just trying to get two things done? Because maybe you've set a goal that is probably not manageable, right? If it's more manageable for you to get two things done every day that deals with cleaning, then to get five things done, then just go with the two, because this is what's gonna make your routine work.
Ashley Brown 12:25
The third component of an effective routine that works is Is it fun? Is your routine fun girl? Like your routine has to be fun for you. And so I'm going to be going through ways of how you can make your routine fun once we get to a routine that feels good, but I just wanted to throw this out there that is your routine fun isn't enjoyable for you. Does it spark joy for you? Do you want to actually do the things within your routine? Is it fun? So, think about that.
Ashley Brown 13:03
And so the last component of a routine that works is flexibility. Is your routine actually flexible? Does it have breathing room. I am not a fan of a rigid routine. I'm gonna put that out there. I am not a fan of a jam packed or rigid routine, because when unexpected things come up, because they will come up and you know that as a mom, when unexpected things come up, you can't adjust easily. So that's why it's so important to have a routine that is flexible and has some wiggle room and some breathing room. Because when unexpected things occur, you can just keep flowing and it doesn't throw you off as much. So does your routine have wiggle room? Is it flexible? Does it have breathing room?
Ashley Brown 13:55
So those are the four components of routine that works is your routine. Realistic? Is it manageable? Is it fun and is it flexible? Now let's move on to what makes a routine that feels good, is we're going to get into some fun now, what makes a routine that feels good because I am a big proponent of a routine that feels good, because it's gonna feel good for you. It has to work for you and your family. But it must feel good for you. If you are spearheading an over most of these routines, they have to work, they have to feel good for you. They have to, that is a non negotiable. And so let me give you some suggestions about how to actually create routines that feel good for you.
Ashley Brown 14:42
My first suggestion is pair tasks that you don't enjoy doing with tasks you actually enjoy. I'm going to repeat that again. Pair tasks that you don't enjoy doing with tasks you enjoy doing. So for example, you can either distract or indulge, when you are doing tasks that you do not enjoy, and that you are honestly like, can this be over. So when you are doing tasks that you don't enjoy, you can either do one of the two things, you can pair it with something that distracts you or pair it with something that you can indulge in. So the first thing is pair it with something that distracts you. So that's things like listening to music, talking to your bestie listening to an audio book or podcast, turning on your favorite show and watching that, talking to your partner why you do things, talking with your kids while you do things. Those are ways that you can distract yourself when you're doing tasks that may not be enjoyable for you. And the second one is paired with things that you can indulge in. So these are things like maybe you want to fix you a cup of coffee while you're washing. Maybe you can pour yourself a glass of wine before you start cooking, if that's something that's not enjoyable for you. Like just pair it with something that you can indulge in, that sparks joy for you, that's all that it means when you indulge in something, it's something that sparks joy. Whatever sparks joy for you that you can do while you're doing the test, do it. Do it girl because this is what's going to help your routines feel better for you and the tasks within your routine feel better for you.
Ashley Brown 16:29
So another thing that can help you in having a routine that feels good, is to create a vibe. I am all about a good bad girl all about a good vibe. Having a good vibe is so so vital. And so when you think about creating a good vibe, what this means is just create an experience for yourself. When you're in your routine, create an experience. And so some ways that you can do that is by studying the mood so things like lighting a candle right? Get something that smells good in your home, like that helps you to feel better when you smell something that just smells fresh or to your favorite type of scent. It can really help boost your mood. Also burning incense I'm all about a good incense. If you've never burned the incense girl go get you some incense to burn because they smell balm. Also letting in light like open up your blinds like opening up your shades is really important because that just lets in light and you know light does so much for ourselves. If you've been in the same you just like a lot like that. Just the light, just the vibrance will help boost your energy and your mood and will help you feel like oh I feel good. And so open up the blinds in the shades is a really good way to let in light and can help you in creating a vibe. Also playing soft music or upbeat music depending on what you prefer for the day can help create a vibe for you. So this These are just some ways that you can create a vibe in order to get yourself into the mood, or just in order to keep you consistently in the mood, do some of these things that you think will help you in creating an experience.
Ashley Brown 18:13
Now let's move on to the next thing. And this is all about having an attitude of gratitude. Having an attitude of gratitude is definitely one of the major ways of helping to make your routine feel good. Because when we have the stank face girl, let's talk about the stank face because I've been on the stank face train like I used to be rolling my eyes and everything like popping my neck. I don't want to do it today. But no, no, no, no, no, that it does not work that does not help your mental, that does not help you look at something as pleasurable, it is going to restrict you. Right and it's going to make something that feel good because you're home. is a sanctuary, that energy in your home must be great. And so if you don't have a really positive energy, when you are going around your home doing things, then that's going to exude into important to your home, when your energy is poor, when there's not a positivity and love and joy and all of that, that soaks into your home. So we want to start to have an attitude of gratitude. And that just means thinking about what you're grateful for. Being thankful for the things that you have, being thankful for the things that you're doing. So a suggestion for you. So instead of rolling your eyes when it comes time for you to wash the dishes. Instead, every time you pick up a dish, and you wash it, state something you're grateful for, say something you're grateful for, because this can help to actually instill positivity and love within yourself. And when you do that for yourself, this is going to pour into your home. So anytime you're doing a task that you feel as if you don't want to do or you would rather be doing something else, I want you to take a deep breath and actually say to yourself, what am I grateful for right now? Because maybe when you're cleaning that disgusting toilet girl, that nasty bathroom, you can actually be like, you know what, I'm glad that I have a bathroom, and that our family has a bathroom that we can come into. And we don't have to go out back in the woods somewhere to use the restroom. We have a bathroom right here with running water and everything. So thinking about what you're grateful for. And remaining consistent with having an attitude of gratitude is really really vital.
Ashley Brown 20:54
The last thing I want to be gone that will really help you and having a routine that feels good is being honest with yourself. Like I said before earlier, my mom might have something to say about me not washing dishes in the morning. I don't really know if she would have something to say. But if she did, right, because that's how she taught me, she taught us to wash dishes at night. And so because of this, sometimes we can stay in that pattern. Although it doesn't feel good for us, because it's something that we've picked up along the way, something that we were taught, and so we feel like we can't deviate from what we were taught. But I'm here to tell you, girl, yes, you can. If it's not feeling good for you the way that you were taught, then you can actually deviate from that so that it does feel good for me for you. And also in terms of comparison yet again, do not compare yourself to other homes and other families. You have to do what works for you be honest with yourself and say, does this feel good for me? Right, so let's not play a comparison game because like I say, it's a distraction. You have to get eyes with one It feels good for yourself. Because that's what's going to help your routines stay alive and thriving.
Ashley Brown 22:06
So those are some ways that you can create a routine that feels good. And so you may be asking yourself, Well, why? Why is it important for me to have a routine that works and feels good, right? And you may have already answered the question for yourself. So if you're still wondering, here's the importance, you one will have to play catch up as much. And when you have routines that work and feel good for you, you actually do them, you actually keep consistent in your routines and do the tasks and things that need to get done within your routine. And so you don't have to play catch up. And we all know what it's like to play catch up, it does not feel good. You get overwhelmed and you get anxious, and that's just not great for your home environment. And so playing catch up doesn't feel good. So this can really help having routines that work and feel good can help you to not have to play catch up as much. Then also it makes you less overwhelmed now Like having a routine makes you less overwhelmed, especially when you have routine that works and feels good. Because when you have predictability and structure and stability in your days and your weeks in your life, this lessens the overwhelm, you're also more likely to stick to your routine is important to have a sustainable routine. And so in order for your team to be sustainable, it's vital that it works, that it's effective and it feels good for you. So those are just some things to think about. And just things to kind of process and digest is that it is very important that your routines work and feel good because by not having to play catch up by having less overwhelming your life by being more likely to stick to your routines. This is going to infuse peace within your home and in your life. So that is what is that importance of having really, really good routines.
Ashley Brown 24:03
Alright, so that's the episode for today. I do want to recap what we talked about though, because I think it's really important that I highlight certain things. We talked about the difference between a routine that works and a routine that feels good. And we set a routine that works, it's effective, it gets the job done. But a routine that feels good means is more likely to be sustainable, because it's enjoyable for you and you actually, like doing your routines. We also talked about the four components to a routine that works and that is having a routine that is realistic, manageable, fun and flexible. We then moved into what can help a routine feel good for you. So we talked about pairing a task you don't enjoy with things that you actually do enjoy. And then also creating a vibe in your home, creating a good vibe by having an attitude of gratitude and just being honest with yourself. Those are some ways that you can make sure that your routine feels good for you. And then we lastly talked about the importance of a routine that works and feels good. And that's ultimately achieving peace on a consistent basis.
Ashley Brown 25:13
So that's what we talked about today, I really, really hope that you got a lot from today and that you learn something new, or that you have some insight about something that you didn't have insight about before. Because that's what I'm here to do help to support you. And so to further help to support you, like I mentioned last week, you can go pick up the Revamp Your Routine Workbook is a free workbook for you to revamp your routine. And it has all of the things that we talked about today, inside the workbook so that you make sure that you're creating routines that work and creating routines that feel good. And I give you tips about how do you actually transition into that routine and some things that can help you transition into your new routine. You can go pick up that workbook from routineandthings.com/routine. And it will be there for you when and if you need it. And then next week, we're going to be diving into each routine in depth, starting with your children's routine. And so we are going to be starting with the children's routine. And talking about that next week. I'm super stoked, because I really want to help you in getting your routines to a place where it works and feels good for you and your family. So we're going to be diving into that next week.
Ashley Brown 26:29
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Ashley Brown 26:51
[Outro] Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed today's episode, could you do me a huge favor and take a screenshot and share it on social and for more routine goodness, be sure to visit routineandthings.com. Here's to staying happy.