The Power of Self Care
Word For Word
Ashley Brown 00:00
[Intro] Routines, my absolute favorite word, but you either love them or you hate them. And either way, I strongly believe that routines can be a springboard for improving your home, yourself and your life. I'm Ashley Brown. And this is the Routine and Things Podcast. In each episode will dive into a specific routine or point of view that will move you closer to enjoy life more and more each day. Trust me, you're going to want to keep listening, because you're well on your way to getting and staying happy!
Ashley Brown 00:46
Hey, hey, welcome back for this week's episode. I'm so happy that you're tuning in. We are still continuing the routine series. We're on day four. And today is all about self care. That's what we're gonna be diving into today. So let's go ahead and get into this episode. Today like I said we're gonna be discussing self care. Oh my gosh when I say those words it makes me feel so so good. Because I remember a time when I honestly didn't care for myself as much as I should. I was not pouring into myself. I was really just so focused on being a mom that I let myself go girl and so this is something that I am huge on is pouring into yourself, showing yourself some love and filling your cup and a lot of times filling your cup first before anyone else's. And this is so vital because filling your cup and pouring into yourself and loving on you will then helps you to love on your family and love on your home. And definitely in a more positive way, when you do things on a consistent basis that bring you joy. And that brings you some sense of love to yourself is some sense of fun to your days and to your weeks. That really helps you to be a better person. It's about being a better daughter, a better friend, a better family member, a better citizen, like when you pour into yourself, you just become a better individual, especially if you're pouring to yourself in the right ways. Doing self care really helps to improve your mood. You are much more just happier and at peace and content when you are doing self care. You deserve to love up on you. Because as you know, we are always loving on everyone around us. But we have to make sure we take care of us. It's really important for our physical health, it's important for our mental health, emotional, spiritual health. It's important all the way around.
Ashley Brown 03:16
And so sometimes even I know for myself, it's been times in my life where I've gotten down because I was not caring for me. And once I started to really care for myself in ways that I enjoyed, this changed a lot for my life because I felt lighter. My mind was clear, it was calmer and it just made my life so much better and being at home, a great experience too. So I just want to encourage you today to know that it's okay to care for yourself, because it's going to be so beneficial for yourself, for your family, for this world.
Ashley Brown 04:00
So how often should you be caring for yourself? We're talking about the self care routine today and the power of self care. And so how often should you be caring for yourself? I truly believe that you should care for yourself on a day to day basis, daily, and as much as possible, like multiple times throughout the day. Because the thing about self care, it doesn't have to take long. It doesn't have to be something that takes hours for you to do. You don't have to pour into yourself for hours, especially if you're doing things on a daily basis, that's going to add up. So like I said, I recommend daily and this can be five to 10 minute activities. I'm going to be going through some activities that you can do but some quick ones for you that are really short. Are things like prayer, journaling, meditating. These are some ways that you can actually care for yourself that does not have to take you and will not take you a long time.
Ashley Brown 05:00
Also, you can have a weekly self care routine, where you dive a little bit deeper and give yourself a little bit more time to really love on you. So for example, I love taking baths every single week, and sometimes I take two baths a week, but at least I do one bath and I soak in that tub girl and it feels so good. And so for your weekly self care, it can be something along the lines of going to get your nails done, or getting a pedicure, go into the salon or just doing a certain activity by yourself that you enjoy. So definitely having a daily and a weekly self care routine is really, really helpful.
Ashley Brown 05:46
So I was speaking about some activities. So let's talk about some activities which you could do in terms of self care. And like I said, these activities are short and sweet activities but also more activities that give you the time to really love on you. And so before I get into the self care activities, I want to make this very clear. Self care is whatever brings you joy. Whatever you feel like is going to spark joy with you, going to fill you up, going to make you happy. That is what self care is. Cut out all the noise that you need to be doing X, Y, and Z. If you're hearing that you need to be doing specific things, that is not truth. You can do whatever you feel like is going to bring you joy, that is going to spark some really great vibes, are going to make you happy. It doesn't have to look like what everyone else does, it' up to you what your self care is.
Ashley Brown 06:47
So I'm just going to share some things with you that I do that might be helpful for you to think about. So I love reading books as a form of self care. And I think that reading can be really really powerful because it's an escape, especially if you're reading fiction novels that can really help you escape. And even if you're not and their nonfiction, like stories about others and their lives can be really, really great because you get to dive into someone else's life and escape for a bit. So reading can be really powerful. And even if it's informational reading, it can be really powerful, especially if you crave information and you would love to be informed, that can really fill you up. And so reading is really, really powerful. And for reading, you can read a couple of minutes a day, it doesn't have to be full on reading the entire book or half the book. It can be a chapter a day that you read, and that could be the 10 minutes or 15 minutes that you take out each and every day, especially if you love to read and it makes you happy.
Ashley Brown 07:46
Journaling is something else that I've really enjoyed doing. I've been journaling since I was a little girl like I have so many journals, and I love going back to read my journals and sitting down to read those. But it's definitely a form of self care because for me, it helps me get what is on my mind out, it helps me to clear my head and get those thoughts sometimes that are in like the back of my head just on paper so that it goes away. And so then I feel some sense of relief. But I will also journal as a form of self development as well. So if something happens in my day, that maybe I wasn't so proud of, or I react instead of responding, and that's a whole other topic. But if something just didn't go well in in my day, or I felt some type of feeling that was uncomfortable, or I was triggered in some type of way. That is when I will journal as well because I want to get clear on what happened here. Because that's going to help me improve myself and to help me become a more peaceful individual or more kind hearted individual, and honestly just help me to get into who I am. Because that's definitely a form of self care. By really getting to know you, getting to know who you are, what makes you tick, what makes you happy, what makes you not so happy. Getting to know you is a game changer, it is definitely a form of self care as well. So journaling helps me do that. It helps me get to know who I am, and stay in tune with who I am. So journaling could be a really great form of a self care activity for you. And I like to journal at night because that's when I'm able to really just take everything from my day that's in my head and just get it out of my head before I lay down to go to sleep. And so I will journal at night and then that just really helps to put me at ease before I go to sleep, especially if you're having racing thoughts at night. There's gonna be a really good helpful way to take those thoughts out of your head, put them on paper and that will give you a lot of mental clarity. And just ease your mind so that you can actually have a restful night's sleep.
Ashley Brown 10:13
Another thing that I love to do is pray and just reading devotionals. I have an app on my phone, it's the You Version Holy Bible app and you can go download that. I think that's available for Apple and also Android phones. So you can go grab that if you want to. They have really great devotionals on there for any type of mood that you're in or any type of thing that you're craving right now in your life. So if you feel like you need more joy in your life, if you feel like you need more peace, more calm, more enjoyment more love. If you feel like you need help with your relationships or to get to know yourself. Anything, you can go type it in and they have so many Bible plans that you can read, and devotionals that can help you get through anything that you're going through, or to give you whatever that you're in search of, and in need of, and I'll make sure I put in the show notes as well.
Ashley Brown 11:11
And the next thing I love to do, which could be helpful for you is meditation. I love meditating. I don't do it as often as I used to. But at one point, I was meditating on a very, very consistent basis. But I am willing to just sit in silence. So even though it may not look like the classic meditation, sometimes when I'm riding to work, or I'm just in the car, going to the grocery store, I will just sit in silence. And that's my form of meditation. And meditation just helps you to get back in tune with your inner being, really helps you to connect with God and to connect with yourself because right we know God is in us. And so if God is in us, we have to get back in tune with our inner self, and silence all of the noise that runs in our head. And so it's great to take some time, sit in silence, and really get back to hearing your voice and then even cutting out your voice to just be free and just be in silence. Meditation is one of those things that I had to really get used to. But once I did, and I was patient with myself and gave myself grace, I was able to really see the true power of meditation. And you don't even have to just sit in silence with meditation. Let me say that. Meditation could also be humming or chanting, where it's like "huuummm', that feels so good to do like that is so good for me. Like I want you to do it right now. Just stop whatever you're doing. If you're doing something right now stop. I want you to close your eyes. I want you to take a deep breath. And then I want you to say, "huuummm." Oh my gosh, girl that just felt so good to me. And I hope that blessed you today. So that is a form of meditation, doing chants or humming sounds, and there's so many things on YouTube that you could Google and search. But even just taking five to 10 deep breaths can be so beneficial as well as a form of meditation.
Ashley Brown 13:34
I remember when I was really doing meditation on a consistent basis. I did enjoy and I still enjoy because I'll do it from time to time. I've would really enjoyed this one meditation. And it's called Getting Into The Vortex. I'll make sure I link this in the show notes so that you can go check it out if you want to. It does cost but it is very, very affordable. And it was really helpful because they had meditations on it, someone speaking in the background like those types of meditations. I love those as well because they speak life into you. And so I will put this on before I went to bed or in the middle of the day while my oldest daughter was napping, and I would listen to this. So it has four meditations, meditations about physical health, meditation about well being, finances, and relationships. And it was helpful because it really allowed me to start having a mindset of abundance, and to think about things in a way that brought more peace in my life, than turmoil or chaos. And so it was really, really helpful for me and it still is helpful for me. So go check that out. I'll make sure I link it in the show notes.
Ashley Brown 14:51
And the last self care activity that I do that I really want to touch on is affirmations. Oh my gosh. affirmations are so, so good. I know like we're in this age where affirmations is where it's at. And so I truly believe in affirmations as well as affirming who you are, affirming yourself, affirming those things around you like, affirmations are so, so powerful. I love doing them. So I have affirmation cards that I have personally created myself, I have affirmation cards from other businesses because they can be really, really helpful for you in training your mind. What it does, is it allows you to speak life into your spirit, into the atmosphere into your soul. And when you really believe what you are saying, it can really help you to lock in your mind that that is truth. So even if the circumstances you're in right now may not feel great for you, when you start to do affirmations, and it does take some time, but when you start to do affirmations, when you start to affirm who you are, and when you start to affirm who's you are, because you are God's child, that can be so beneficial and helping you to find peace in your soul, and that just flows into your life. So affirmations are so, so vital. I have so much more about just self love and self care and just affirmations. But I am going to continue to encourage you and that will be on future episodes, just me speaking life into you and encouraging you throughout motherhood.
Ashley Brown 16:52
Alright, so I just listed out some activities for you, of course it's such a range of activities that you could do but these are ones that really have been very, very impactful for me. So I want to share them with you. But now I want to talk about something that I think needs to be said when it comes to self care. Because it's a misconception I feel like that's out here about self care. And that is that self care can only be by yourself. I do not believe this. I think you can care for yourself, even in the midst of being around others, especially in the midst of being around your children, being around your partner, even being around family, you can still do self care and love on you.
Ashley Brown 17:36
So what I like to do is when I feel like I want to do some self care and love on myself, especially throughout the day, what I like to do is I will incorporate my kids into my self care. So what I'll do is sit my daughter down, and I will have her like read her books. I'll have my youngest daughter, just play on her play mat. So I'll have them do that. And then while they're doing that, and preoccupied, I will sit down and read me a book, I'll just pull out my books on the couch and read for about 15 to 20 minutes. And honestly, I just make sure that I have something for them to be entertained by. And just silence because I love silence when I'm doing self care. And so for that, I'll just make sure that I sit down and read me a book, sometimes I have me a cup of coffee on the side, because you know, I love my coffee. But that's what I'll do. And you know, sometimes me and my husband, we will sit down together and do self care where I'll be doing self care, he's doing self care, too. It's just in his own way. But yes, so I'll just say, babe, I'm going to read my book, or I'm going to just sit in silence for a little bit if you can turn the TV off. And we'll just vibe out and we're doing self care together, but it's still self care. And so I don't want you to think that oh, I have to go and retreat by myself in order to care for myself. Because if you think that then that might prevent you from actually pouring to yourself more often. So I want you to really start getting in your mind that it's okay to do self care with others. As long as you let them know you're doing self care, as long as you preoccupy your kids with something that will capture their attention for some time, you can care for yourself in the midst of others. So that's just something I wanted to throw out there for you. So that you know, so that it doesn't prevent you from caring for yourself.
Ashley Brown 19:28
And another thing that I think can also prevent you sometimes from caring for yourself, and I know I've dealt with this in the past, is self care guilt. Having guilt surrounding caring for yourself. Hmm. I know at a certain point, I really just felt like oh my gosh, like I can't care for myself like this child needs me. Like they need me and always in every second of the freakig day, like it was a mess. Even if you're thinking this, this doesn't mean that you're a mess. This is real. Self care guilt is real, it is a real thing. If I care for myself, that means I'm not caring for them. And that does not mean that you're not caring for them. When you care for yourself, that honestly means that you're caring more for them because you're going to have the capacity. If you are caring for yourself first. It's just like they say on the airplane, put on your mask first, then you help the next person. Because you have to care for you first in order to be able to have the energy and the strength and the love and the kindness to care for another individual. Like what comes up for you when you're about to care for yourself, or what stops you from caring for yourself. So journal about that today, take some time and get clear on that. Because you have to push through those barriers. And really get down to the root cause of why you feel guilty, or what's really going on for you why you're not caring for yourself as often as you should or as often as you would like. So yeah, journal about that today.
Ashley Brown 21:14
And in terms of self care as well when it comes to the guilt that we may feel when it comes to the guilt or just self care in general, you can start small. So right now, if you do not have a self care routine and it's non existent, girl, you can start small. You don't have to go all out when you first start a self care routine. You can just start by doing something five minutes a day for yourself. Waking up and praying, waking up, reading the devotional, taking five minutes to read a book that you've been wanting to read. Start small and build from there. But just start, that's all that matters is that you start because when you get in a flow and a rhythm, you're going to start adding more self care and more self care. And before you know it you are going to feel so, so peaceful, at ease. You're going to feel like yes I'm rocking this I'm feeling so much better, my mood is better. You're gonna feel so good. So start small and then build from there.
Ashley Brown 22:22
All right girl we've talked about so much today. Oh my gosh, we talked about so much in this episode, we discussed what self care is. And a big huge part of self care is that it is subjective. In nursing, what subjective is, because you know I'm a nurse. What subjective means is 'it is what you say it is'. In nursing, we say that in terms of a patient's pain, it is subjective. It is what the patient says it is. So I want you to know self care is subjective. It is what you say it is! Whatever brings you joy. So for example, I love going grocery shopping. That brings me joy. So screw whatever somebody else has to say about grocery shopping, that it's not a form of self care, okay? I'm not listening to them. It is what I say it is. And so I want to empower you and encourage you to know that self care is what you say it is.
Ashley Brown 23:26
So we talked about what self care is, and what having a routine can look like. That it can be short and sweet. We can be more in depth to where you're loving on you, in longer lengths of time. We also dive into some self care activities, and I gave you some helpful suggestions about things that you can do to care for yourself. And like I say, it's a range of things that you can do. And we talked about the misconception that you have to be by yourself in order to care for yourself. And so I just wanted to throw that out to you and so we talked about that today. You can actually care for yourself in the midst of others. And that's okay, as long as you're pouring into yourself. And then we dived into just getting clear about self care guilt and knowing that it is a real thing. And that it may come up for you but to get clear about and clear on what truly is the root cause of your guilt. And so I suggest that you journal about that today, if that's coming up for you often or even if that comes up for you on occasion, take some time out and pour into yourself today by getting clear on that
Ashley Brown 24:38
Last but not least, make sure to subscribe if you haven't already. If you have, thank you for subscribing. Thank you for rocking with me. I truly, truly appreciate you. And also if you could rate and review that would be so helpful. I would be so appreciative of that and also share this today. So I want you to think about one person that you may have come across that needs what this podcast offers. And I want you to share this podcast with them today.
Ashley Brown 25:06
But that's it for this week. Next week is the last day of the routine series where we are going to be talking all about planning. We'll be talking about planning, and I'm going to be diving all the way into it. Because, as you know, and if you don't know, planning is my jam. And so that's what we're going to be getting into next week. I hope that you return, but until then, please enjoy wherever you are, and wherever you're doing. I'll talk to you later.
Ashley Brown 25:38
[Outro] Thanks for listening. If you enjoy today's episode, could you do me a huge favor and take a screenshot and share it on social and for more routine goodness, be sure to visit routine and things calm, here sustaining happy