Discovering Peace By Putting Your Home First
Word For Word
Ashley Brown 00:00
[Intro] Routines, my absolute favorite word, but you either love them or you hate them. And either way, I strongly believe that routines can be a springboard for improving your home yourself and your life. I'm Ashley Brown, and this is a routine and things podcast. In each episode we'll dive into a specific routine or point of view that will move you closer to enjoying life more and more each day. Trust me, you're gonna want to keep listening, because you're well on your way to getting and staying happy.
Ashley Brown 00:46
Hey, welcome back. In this episode, we're going to be diving into how you can actually discover a piece by putting your home first. This topic is close to my heart because I truly believe that everything starts with home. I think home is super duper important. Home is just so precious it's where our babies are, it's where our partners are, it's where we are. And so it's really important that home is prioritized, that we are focusing on home because everything starts there. Because think about it this way when things are going well, at home, you feel good, like you feel good and that good vibe and that good feeling will translate into your outside environment and being outside of the home and you feel good even moving outside of that space. So it's really really important that we prioritize home. It's a difference when things on the outside of our home is not like how we want it to be is not of positivity and abundance. It's a little bit easier to digest when things outside of our home is not going as well. But when things within our home are not going well, when we are surrounded by chaos and confusion, we're wondering why we can't get things together. We're wondering why every time we try to get things together, a curveball comes or we're constantly playing catch up and just feeling like we're in the weeds and down on ourselves about our home. That isn't as easy to digest. And it's because our homes to us is a sacred space, and it should be and we want our sacred space to feel good to us and have positive vibes and be spaces of abundance. And so that's why it's really important that we focus on home make that our top priority, because it's important that we create spaces of abundance that we continue to foster abundance in our homes and we can only do If we're putting our all into our home.
Ashley Brown 03:02
So what does it mean to put your home first? This is how I like to think about it. And this is just my definition. For me, I believe that putting your home first means you hold the energy in the people within your home to a high regard and you prioritize these things first and foremost. That's what I believe the definition is of putting your home first, that's what it means to me. I hold the energy my home and the people in my home to our high regard. I cherish them, I value them, to the highest extent and so I want to put them first. So ask yourself this question. Do you hold your home? Do you hold the energy in your home, the people in your home, to a high regard? Do you value them? Do you cherish them? Are these things important to you? Ask yourself that question. On a scale of zero to ten, where do you think you fall when it comes to putting your home first? Right now in your life, where would you say, you fall on this scale for putting your home first? And if that number does not sound great to you, if you feel as if that number could be higher, then you have the power to get it there you have the power to truly shift your focus on your home.
Ashley Brown 04:18
Distractions may be the cause of why you are not putting your home first. And usually that's what it is either we are getting distractions from the outside world, telling us that we need this, we need to be doing this and that and pulling our focus away from our home. I know for me at one point in my life, and I speak about this and I've spoken about this before that at one point in my life, I was really consumed in my business to the point where my home was second to my business. And when I was doing this, I felt it. I felt like, dang, my home is not being taken care of. I'm not doing anything really in my home. I'm neglecting my home, and I felt that because when I stepped on toys, when I saw that the floors hadn't been vacuum, that the crumbs on the floor was still there from like two days ago, like I, I could feel it. And internally, I could feel that. And that didn't help me in my home to create like a really positive vibe or to be in a positive mood, and that shifted outside of my home as well.
Ashley Brown 05:27
And so I was distracted by my business. And I allowed my business to distract me from what was really important for me, which was my home. Because when I feel good in my home, just probably like you do. When you feel good in your home, you feel good period. Like you feel good, and you're lighter and you're more joyful, and you can laugh easier and you can love more, all of those things. So think about maybe if the number on the scale wasn't where you wanted it to be. Are you being distracted? Like, are you distracted by something? Is something else more of a focus for you? And if the answer is yes, then you can start to shift your focus. You can start to see where you can change up things in order to make your home a priority again for you. For me what I did at that time, I actually started to simplify my business and change things up a bit so that I had more time to focus on home. And then eventually I decided to stop doing that business just for other reasons and it wasn't there anymore. But before that, I was really trying to make an effort to prioritize my home and to make my business something that came after my home. So, I wouldn't do my home things first, and then I would start to do my business things once the home things I wanted to get done for the day, we're done. So maybe you just need to tweak some things in your life in order to prioritize your home first, and put that first and foremost.
Ashley Brown 07:01
And also sometimes we can distract ourselves. Like being a homemaker is not easy. It takes work. You hear in my intro, it takes work, patience, a lot of prayer. So it's not easy to be a homemaker. It's not easy to put your home first. And at times, it can be extremely, if we allow it to become that way. So maybe you have been distracting yourself because maybe you are super overwhelmed. Maybe you feel like, yeah, this is for the birds and like, I can't catch up and I'm not even gonna try. So then you distract your own self because you don't want to deal with the issue. You don't want to work towards fixing the problem because you feel like it's too much. And those distractions show up in different ways. I know for myself when I'm trying to distract myself, I have a tendency to watch TV like and I really catch myself or scrolling Instagram, more than usual. So I know that those are ways that I had to strike myself. And I've become very aware of that. So maybe there's something that you can start to think about and become more aware of is how do you distract yourself? How do you find these things coming up for you as far as distractions and how, what is your distraction of choice, basically? And when you are aware of this, you can start to remedy this.
Ashley Brown 08:24
So then you can check in with yourself and you can say, well, you know what, it might be easier to be distracted, but honestly, that's you playing the little short game. Distractions is you playing the short game. Yes, like I said homemaking isn't easy. It's a long game. It's something we have to invest in. We have to invest in our home. And sometimes what we put into our home is not going to be reciprocated instantly. But it will be reciprocated down the line. So if you can hold on to that, if you can hold on to that, maybe you putting so much into your home might not give you instant gratification, but thinkabout it this way. Anything that's good takes time. That's when, when you put a soup on the stove, to cook for hours, that soup at the end is going to develop all those flavors and it's going to taste the bomb. We did'nt microwave that soup. So just think about it that way that although things do get overwhelming, and you may feel stress come up at times and just feel as if you can't make it another day. You're stronger than that. And instead of distracting yourself, remember that anything good takes time and continue to put effort into your home and start to shift your perspective and loving on your home and putting it first on your priority list.
Ashley Brown 09:49
So like I was talking about before, at the top of this episode, I truly believe that everything starts with home. That's why I think it's so important that we prioritize our home environments, and that we prioritize those within our home. Because the way that we move and we feel in our home is a direct reflection of the way that we move and we feel in the world. Sometimes we think that we can fake the funk, when we go outside of our home. Let's say our home life is more chaotic than we would like or just really stressful. Sometimes we can try to fake the funk, but the energy is still there. And that will come up eventually, through your actions, through your words, through your energy.It's going to be reflected. So if we focus on getting our home to a place where we are proud of our home and what we have done within our home and what type of space we're cultivating, that can do a world of good for us when we step outside of our home. And all of that joy and love and positivity and abundance will spread out into our communities and into everyone that we run into and that we talk to, and that we connect with.
Ashley Brown 10:56
Your home is a sacred space. I always say my home is my sanctuary. It's like my second best friend outside of my husband's. My home. And so my home is my sanctuary and I know it's yours too. And it should be a safe space. In order for things to stay and remain a safe space. It has to be poured into, it has to be loved on, it has to feel valued, and appreciated. And just like us as human beings we feel valued and appreciated and loved is when we are put first when it's appropriate, right? It's the same with your home. Your home wants to be loved on. It wants to be valued, it wants to be cherished. And so putting your home first can really infuse positivity and just such great vibes within your space and keep it remaining a safe space for you and your family. When our home is in shambles when we feel like our home is a burden and then we just don't want to deal with it, this causes internal frustration, whether you know it or not, because your spirit is registering that what you are visualizing and in your home that is not as positive. Or what you are feeling within your being about your home, if it's not in a positive light it's causing you internal turmoil. It's causing you frustration. Confusion arises, chaos arises as well internally and this is not going to cultivate a space of abundance. Your home is your safe space, it's your sanctuary. So let's, praise it, let's celebrate it, let's speak life into our home. Let's put it first because like I said, everything starts with home.
Ashley Brown 12:43
So we haven't started taking our home seriously, because that's where we raise our children that go out into the world. That's where we lay our heads and get well rested to go out and face another day not knowing what outside of our home is going to bring. This is where we cultivate a space of abundance and of love. So, when I was in that space where my home was neglected, like straight up, neglected, it was uncomfortable, for me to really be honest with myself and say, You know what, Ashley, you neglected your home. It was hard, because I knew it wasn't me. And I knew that what I wanted was more than what I was giving to my home. I knew that, but I was allowing certain circumstance,s situations, to drive me away from my home, and letting those distractions creep in. So, I had to get honest with me and say, this isn't you. This isn't how you want your life to be. This isn't how you want your home to me. So you got to get yourself in check, girl, like that's what the conversation I had to have with myself. And it was very uncomfortable. When we get uncomfortable, that's when growth happens. So if you're uncomfortable, you're growing because you're checking in with your spirit. And when your spirit is uncomfortable that sparks change. So I just wanted to put that out there because I don't want you to think that you're alone and feeling uncomfortable, you're not.
Ashley Brown 14:14
And so you might be wondering like, well, how do I know when to put my house first versus when something else should come first? So I'm going to give you a tip that I use for myself. When I am stuck between whether I should put my home first or something else above my home, this is what I asked myself, what does this mean for my home and my family? So if I'm faced with having a movie night with my family on a Friday night when I know my husband has worked all week, and we barely saw each other and on the same night, my best friend reaches out to me and says she wants to go to a concert. I asked myself that question. What does this mean for my home and for my family, and I am a part of my family. So I want to make that very clear. You are a part of your family. So what this is mean, I ask myself that what does this mean for my home and for my family? Will it affect them negatively or positively? So possibly it could affect them negatively. If we're basing it off of that scenario, it could. Because if my husband, this is the one day that he has to spend time with us and the kids, and we all are spending time as a family, it could affect, especially my husband negatively because he might be like, dang, I'm able to see you the one night that I'm home. That will take away from some of the intimacy we could have together. That could take away from memories that we could create as a family unit. So possibly, right?
Ashley Brown 15:39
Will it take anything away from them or add to them? So yeah, it will take away for that scenario. It will take away my presence with them. And then also ask yourself will I need to dramatically shift anything at home to accommodate this? And is it worth it? Is it worth it? Do I need to shift anything? I mean, I don't need to shift anything per se. I mean, the movie night can still go on? Is the concert worth it rather than the movie night? I don't know. So those are the questions that I asked myself to make a decision. What does this mean for my home and for my family? In that circumstance, if that was the real scenario, I would choose doing the movie night with my family, because honestly, in that scenario, I would have been taken away more from my family than adding to them. So I would have chose to be at home with my family. So you can ask yourself that question, the next time you're faced with a dilemma between what to choose? Of course, if it's between life and death, we know which way we're going to go. But if it's not, and it's something that is more like, well, I don't know which, which route to take, what should I do, I don't want to let anyone down. And then you can have a really honest conversation, a candid conversation with the person on the other side who maybe you weren't able to hang with or support in a certain way. And then also ask them like, maybe we can schedule another time or do this on another day? Or can I support you in a different way, because this is important that I do this specific thing with my family in my home. So that's just a tip for you. Hopefully that is helpful. The next time you're faced with that dilemma, because it always helps me when I think about that.
Ashley Brown 17:21
I also want you to remember this. Putting your home first does not mean that you don't value or care for others. I want you to repeat after me and say this. Putting my home first does not mean I don't value or care for others, because it doesn't mean that. It's okay to have boundaries. It's okay to have boundaries. Boundaries are important in life, because if not, you can lose who you are. You can lose what you want if you don't have boundaries and boundaries are very different than being selfish, those are two totally completely different things. And that can go into a whole nother podcast episode about that. If you want me to, hit me up, DM me, reach out to me at firstname.lastname@example.org. If you want me to talk about boundaries versus being selfish and we can go there. It's okay to not allow other things to supersede your home, unless it's completely necessary or you choose to. It's okay to put your home first. Putting your home first, better helps you experience peace and that then will be transferred to others. That's the beauty in this. You discover peace by putting your home first and you also transfer that peace that you have to others. That's the beautiful thing about putting your home first because everybody gets the love. Everyone gets the love from you. Don't feel bad and don't feel ashamed about putting your home first. Don't ever feel ashamed about putting your home first.
Ashley Brown 19:03
So that's it for this episode. This was a short and sweet episode I feel like, but we got right into it. And we talked about what it means to put your home first. And that is you holding energy in people within your home to a high regard. And you prioritize them first. And also asks you to rate yourself on a scale of zero to ten to see where you rank in terms of putting your home first. And to ask yourself the question of are you being distracted or are you distracting yourself from your home? If so you can change that. Start to get aware about what your distractions are. Also just talking about why it is so important that you put your home first. Everything starts with home. How we move and feel in our home is how we move and feel in the world. If we want this world to be a better place, we have to start cultivating spaces of abundance. And we can't do that unless we're putting our home first. If we're putting everything outside of our home first and that means we're not investing in our home. It is important that we invest in our home, in those within it. And then if you're ever having a dilemma about what to choose whether your home or another thing, ask yourself this question, what does it mean for my home in my family? So I hope this was helpful. I hope that you took away some things from this episode. Thank you so much for joining me today. Thank you for listening. I truly appreciate you. You just don't know how much I appreciate you. If you would do something for me today. That is to subscribe to the podcast if you haven't already. Rate and review the podcast as well. I would love to know your thoughts about the podcast. And also share this with someone today. Share this episode with someone that you feel as if needs to hear this, about putting their home first.
Ashley Brown 20:51
And in next week's episode, we are going to be talking about something that has been a work in progress for me that I continue to work on. That I've really started to implement in my home for some time now, and I want to share that with you. And that's how to just be in your home. How to just be in your home without doing. Oh, this is gonna be a good one. It's going to be a good one next week. So make sure you tune in. How to just be in your home. So if you feel like you're constantly having to do something around your home, that you constantly want to be busy bee around your house, and you can sit down, and you feel like you always have to be going, going going, then listen to this episode next week. It's all about how to just be. Thank you so much for tuning in today. I hope that you enjoy the rest of your week. And until next time, please make sure that you enjoy wherever you are right now. And whatever you're doing. I'll talk to you later.
Ashley Brown 21:53
[Outro] Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed today's episode, could you do me a huge favor and take a screenshot and share it on social, and for more routine goodness, be sure to visit routineandthings.com. Here's to staying happy!