How To Stop Doing All The Things
Word For Word
Ashley Brown 00:00
[Intro] Routines my absolute favorite word, but you either love them or you hate them. And either way, I strongly believe that routines can be a springboard for improving your home, yourself and your life. I'm Ashley Brown, and this is a routine and things podcast. In each episode we'll dive into a specific routine or point of view that will move you closer to enjoying life more and more each day. Trust me, you're gonna want to keep listening, because you're well on your way to getting and staying happy.
Ashley Brown 00:47
Hey, girl, welcome back this week. Oh my gosh, I'm really excited to talk about this subject. If you've read the title, which I'm sure you did. That's probably why you clicked on this episode. We are talking all about, how do you actually stop doing all the things? Let's talk about it. Let's talk about how to stop doing all of the things, right? This topic comes up from time to time in motherhood, because just even outside of motherhood just with people that don't even have kids, I feel like it's a hot topic because I feel like our culture has really ingrained in us sometimes and has primed us for doing all of the things. So now we are recognizing that it's not that healthy to be doing all the things, especially not all the time. So let's talk about it today.
Ashley Brown 01:43
So doing all the things, what does that look like? You may already know if you do all the things, but maybe you don't. So doing all the things can look different ways. So if you ever feel like, why do I always have so much to do? Like, why am I always doing everything? Why am I going here and going to this event and going to my child's thing and going here and doing this blah, blah, blah? You might feel like that. Why am I consistently doing so much? Right? I'm doing too much. You might say to yourself, I'm doing way too much right now. And I'm always doing way too much. If you ever feel like you over commit, that you make too many plans that you can't keep, that could be because you are doing all of the things. If you feel overworked and overwhelmed, a lot of the time, it could be possibly because you're doing all of the things. It's a possibility, right.
Ashley Brown 02:46
So today, let's talk about how can you actually stop doing other things? What things can you do? How can you think in order for you to stop running yourself into the ground, to stop driving your own self crazy. What can you do? So we are going to be diving into that today. So let me just give you my story with doing all of the things because I'm gonna be very honest. And this is not on any braggadocious type tip. Like, I'm not even that type of individual. This is just truth. Throughout my life, I have not really been the type to do all the things. And in certain parts of my life, I have done all the things and quickly realized, nope, I was never the one that anytime someone asked me to do something, I was like, yep, yep, yep. I'll be like, I'll let you know. Because I knew for myself am I about to commit to something I know, either I can't do I don't want to do. So I feel like in my life I've always been aware of the fact that for me it was very uncomfortable to do all the things, so let me put it that way. It was uncomfortable for my spirit, so I was never really the type to do all the things, but I think this makes me a good expert or someone with some wisdom that can help if you feel like that you've had the doing all the things mentality or doing all the things syndrome, doing way too much booboo syndrome. So I want to help you in trying to think about what can really help you and prevent you from doing all the things because doing all the things is not healthy for you. And the times where I did all the things in those moments. Oh, it was not healthy for me at all. That's why I quickly realized and woke up it was I can't do that. Sorry. Right like literally like you have to really, you have to realize that doing all the things is harming you. It's doing more harm than good, essentially. Okay.
Ashley Brown 05:09
So let's move into why do we do all the things? What drives us to doing all the things? Why? Why? Right? Like when we think about doing all the things, like that word "all", it's like you can't do it all, right? But sometimes it don't click for us, sometimes it's like, I know I can't do it all. No one can except God. So why am I continuing to do a lot of things? Why am I doing this? So that can come externally. So that can come from external pressure, maybe pressure from others around you, your family, people having really huge expectations for you, or people putting what they want to see you do onto you, like putting their expectations of you on to you, right. Not your expectations of yourself, they're putting their expectations of you on you, and expecting you to do this or expecting you to commit to this or that. Right? So it can come from external. It can also come from media, social media, TV, right? Just media in general, that those pressures can come in, and you feel as if oh, well I see this person doing something or I see that person or they're telling me I need to be doing this as well as doing that. So it can definitely come from external pressure.
Ashley Brown 06:27
It can also come from internal pressure, because I'm going to be really honest, I feel like most of our need to do all the things comes more from us than from other people. I feel like it's usually the case. So that can definitely come from just you. You wanting to be your best or you wanting to please others or you wanting to not feel like the bad guy or you wanting to make sure that everyone around you is getting what they need at any time that they need it. Right like, it can come in turn as well, so or it can be a combination of both. And I feel like it usually is a combination of both. Alright, so now that we know kind of what doing other things looks like, why do we usually want or feel the need to do all the things?
Ashley Brown 07:17
Now let's move into, what are we going to do about this? So I have four ways, four things that's going to help you stop doing all of the things. And if you commit to doing these four things, I'm telling you, you're going to see a difference in what you're doing. And you're going to see, you're going to go off and do all the things to do and really, what you want to do, and what's important to do for you. So, the first one is I want you to first kill the comparison. stop comparing. It ain't doing you know, good. Comparison is a distraction. Stop comparing, you are not the same as anyone else on this earth, you never will be. So stop comparing yourself to others, stop comparing yourself to other moms, to your friends with kids, to your neighbors with kids down the street. Stop. Just because you see them doing something does not mean you need to do it and it daggone sure don't mean you have to do it. So don't compare. It's important for you to figure out what's important for you, and to you. Because if you don't get clear about that, anytime someone comes around, and they are speaking about something that maybe you didn't know about, or you weren't privy to, you're going to feel as if, oh, maybe I should be doing that as well or maybe I should go to this place as well, take my kids here to or do this with my kids, or maybe me and my family should take a trip there too. Like you're going to be swayed because you're not really clear about what it is that you want. So it's important that you get clear and really decide what do I want for myself? What do I want for my family? And then do that. Don't worry about what other people are doing. Stop the comparison, set your own expectations.
Ashley Brown 09:08
Secondly, I want you to prioritize what's important. And prioritization is one of those things that is super subjective because what's important to you may not be important to someone else. So when I say subjective, it just means that prioritization is what you say it is and how you prioritize is dependent upon what's really important to you. It's important that we prioritize. So how do you actually do this? How do you prioritize to make sure that you are not doing all of the things? And prioritization, a lot of times comes up when we're when planning for life, or even if we don't plan even though you should be right, doing your peace planning, even if you don't plan. It's important that you prioritize when things come into your line of fire. When things come into your peer review, when things are presented to you, it's still important for you to prioritize. But it's a lot easier to prioritize when you already can establish a plan for yourself. So what can really help you prioritize is thinking about what season of life are you in, and what matters most in this season of life, that's gonna stop you from doing all of the things. It's really going to stop you in your tracks because if you can get really specific about what season of life you are in and what really matters most in this season, then you will be more likely to do the things that you know are important to you in this season, and then you will be able to cut out some of the noise.
Ashley Brown 10:45
So for example, maybe in this season of life, you are a first time mom, who has a little three month old baby at home. and someone asks you, hey, do you want to meet tomorrow at 8am to get some coffee? You may think to yourself, if you've gotten clear about what season of life you're in, which is you have a newborn, and what matters most of you in this season is getting your rest, then you're probably going to say, you know what, that's a nice offer, but I need to get my rest in the morning. You might be like, you know what, thank you for the invitation, but I really need to get my rest. Because you have gotten clear on what season of life you're in and what is important for you in that season. This is so vital. And a question that you can ask, a really good question that you can act to help you prioritize, is you got to ask yourself this question. What do you wish you had more of? What do you wish you had more of? Another way of phrasing that question or just on top of that question, you can ask yourself, what do you need to pay attention to right now in life? So asking yourself, what do I need to pay attention to right now in life? What do I wish I had more of in life? That can really help you prioritize and kind of silence all of the noise that comes internally and externally because you are like, okay, I wish I had more sleep right now and more rest. So when someone ask you to go somewhere and do something you're like, you know what, I didn't say I needed more of that. I didn't say I wish I had more of that. I didn't say I wish I had more time to go to a happy hour. I said that I wish I had more time for rest. So that's what I'm going to take, right? Those questions can really be beneficial in helping you to decide what is priority for you.
Ashley Brown 12:37
You can also choose your top three like top three categories that you feel as if you wish you had more of or categories that you feel like you know what these are important for this season of life that I'm in. And then so if something comes up that doesn't fit into those categories, those three categories, then you can choose to not do it. You could just make the choice to not do it, if it doesn't fit into those three categories. So if you're a first time mom with a newborn, maybe the three categories that you choose is rest, bonding with your newborn, and getting out to see friends. Like maybe those are your categories. So if those are your three categories, if something comes within that, that does not align with those three categories, then you can just be like, you know what? No, no, thank you. Not right now, not at this time. So that could really be helpful, when it comes to trying to prioritize.
Ashley Brown 13:36
And this leads me to the next thing that you can do. Which is exercise saying, no. Do you know how to say no? Do you feel uncomfortable when you say no? I feel like we are innately sometimes people pleasers where we want to say yes to things. But we do have to say no in life. So exercising the power of no is so vital. And this takes practice too, especially if you're not used to saying no, or use a saying no, not right now because sometimes it's not a no, it could just be not right now. Sometimes it is a hard no, never, but sometimes it's not that, sometimes it's just a not right now, but it does take practice if you're not used to saying no. So, practicing saying no, look in the mirror and say, you know what, no, thank you. And it gets even easier now because you can say it through text like no, thank you. Thank you for the invite. So, I want you to know that it's okay to have boundaries, it's okay to know what's important to you. And put boundaries in place so that what's important to you always reign supreme and always is the first thing that you think about and that you do. It's okay. Think of it this way, you're not saying no to the person, you're saying no to the request. Because I feel like that's what we get hung up on. We feel like we're saying no to the person. When a lot of times when not saying no to the person, we're saying no to the request of our time, to be perfectly honest, that we might want to use in another way. So if you can think about that you're not saying no to the person, you're saying no to the request, then that might make it a little bit easier for you when it comes to saying no. So saying no can definitely help you in not doing all of the things.
Ashley Brown 15:27
The fourth and final thing that can be really beneficial in you not doing all the things is knowing your worth. Yes, I'm going here today. Because let me say this, sometimes, like I told you before, I feel like sometimes it's our need to need to do all the things. Sometimes that pressure comes from us, that no one else is putting the expectation on us. It comes from us, and sometimes that need is I feel worthy in doing. So, if I am doing things, if I am pleasing others and if I am doing all of the things, sometimes that's because of our need to feel like we are worthy, because we found our worth in doing. And you might be thinking, Ashley, I don't know what you're talking about girl, and if you're there, it's okay. This might not even be for you. If this is for you, you'll get it loud and clear. But I wanted to put that out there because I want you to know your worth does not come from doing. So if you're constantly doing, doing, doing because it gives you a high or a rush or you feel like you're somebody because you can do all of these things. Know that your worth doesn't come from doing. It doesn't. You are worthy all by yourself, girl. You are worthy all by your beautiful self, without the doing. So I want you to know that today. That knowing your worth and understanding that you are worthy without the doing can really be beneficial when it comes to not doing all the things and to lessening the overwhelm and the frustration and the annoyance that comes from doing all of the things because trying to do it all is exhausting. I mean just thinking about it, I want to take a nap. Doing all the things is exhausting. So, those are four ways those are four ways so kill the comparison, prioritize what's important, exercise saying no. Start to practice that in the mirror today. And know your worth know that you are worthy, even when you're not doing a daggone thing, when you not lifting no finger, not running to no game, not going to no PTA meeting. Not taking no district charge. You are worthy, girl. You are worthy. So those are four ways that you can begin to stop doing all of the things.
Ashley Brown 18:07
Hopefully that was helpful. I hope that this will really help you to lessen the amount of things that you're doing, and to stop you or to at least help you to become more aware when you're beginning to try to do all the things. If you did enjoy today's episode, please make sure that you rate and review the podcast. And while you're there, subscribe if you haven't already and share this episode today. Share it on social, IG, Facebook, and also share with someone that you may know that needs this. Alright girls.
Ashley Brown 18:43
So next week. I'm super excited about this episode because it's something that I've been doing for a while and I want to help you in doing but we're going to be diving into how to really wake up earlier than your kids. Like how do you really wake up earlier than your kids because I know we say we want to wake up earlier than that kids, but how does this really happen? How can we really do this? So, we're going to be talking about that next week. So make sure you come back and join me then. Thank you for listening. Thank you for continuing to listen, for being here today. I hope that you have a fantastic rest of your day, and that you enjoy wherever you are, and whatever you're doing, talk to you soon.
Ashley Brown 19:25
[Outro] Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed today's episode, could you do me a huge favor and take a screenshot and share it on social. And for more routine goodness, be sure to visit routineandthings.com. Here's to staying happy!