How Setting Boundaries Can Dramatically Improve Your Routines

I bet you didn’t think setting boundaries had anything to do with routines! But here we are. Knowing how to set boundaries with yourself and others truly impacts your routines. In this episode of the Routine and Things Podcast, I share specifically how having boundaries can dramatically improve your routines. Not great at saying no or wish you were better with boundaries, stay tuned, this episode is just what you need!
Word For Word
Ashley Brown 0:00
[Intro] Routines, my absolute favorite word, but you either love them or you're working on getting there. But either way, as strongly believe routines can be a springboard for improving your home, yourself and your life. I'm Ashley Brown. And this is the Routine and Things Podcast. In each episode, I'll share practical tips and simple ways to help you consistently live your happiest life, one routine at a time. Trust me, you're gonna want to keep listening, because you're well on your way to getting and staying happy.

Ashley Brown 0:49
Hey hey, welcome back. So in today's episode, I am going to be diving into a topic that I feel like is well overdue. But it's one that I feel is so substantial to talk about, because it can dramatically affect your routines, which will then dramatically affect your life. And that is talking all about setting boundaries. And when you hear that, what do you think about? Like when you hear setting boundaries? What do you actually think about hear? Does it feel good for you to hear setting boundaries? Does it make you feel a little uneasy when you hear the word boundary? How do you feel because I know for me specifically, I am really great at setting boundaries. I've been great at setting boundaries for a good amount of time in my life, I don't know where I get it from. But Ashley gonna keep her boundaries, you best believe that. And I don't care who you are, who you not, it don't matter, it does not matter to me, because boundaries for me, have allowed me to stay in alignment with who I am, what I value, and also has really helped me cultivate amazing routines for my life. So I'm going to share with you how setting boundaries can dramatically improve your routines. So stick around, stick around, because it's going to be a really good episode.

Ashley Brown 2:28
And you may be the type of person where having boundaries wasn't really modeled for you, or you struggle to say no, or maybe you feel like having boundaries means that you are a selfish individual. That is that is somewhere floating out there that by having boundaries, you can seem to be selfish are all about you. And that is so far from the truth so far from the truth. And setting boundaries to me is not about being selfish. It is about self preservation. Because when you do not have boundaries, you're one going to be walked all over, you're too going to have a very hard time with saying no, and you're going to start to burn yourself out, you're going to start to feel very weighed upon, you're going to start to feel stressed and overwhelmed because you are trying to do everything. Not having boundaries is not serving you. And it is not selfish to want to advocate for yourself and stay in alignment with feeling how you want to feel by putting up some walls to be like, not today. Not right now. Maybe later though, but not right now. So boundaries are a beautiful thing. Remember that.

Ashley Brown 3:45
Okay, now, when it comes to setting boundaries, and why I feel like this relates so much to improving your routines is because when you are able to set boundaries, you're able to identify what you want versus what you don't want, what you want to do versus what you don't want to do. You are less likely to get burnt out, you have less stressful days. You bring your values to the forefront at all times when you are able to set really strong boundaries. This allows you to be your best self and thrive when you have boundaries. I mean, doesn't all those things just feel and sound beautiful? Boundaries are beautiful. Having boundaries is where it's at for sure.

Ashley Brown 4:27
But I think the first and foremost step is to really identify what it is that is of true value to you versus what isn't. Because this can help you start to understand where do I want my time to be spent? How do I want my time to be spent? What is most important to me, and that makes you more confident in setting boundaries. So that's like the first starting point. And I'm going to reiterate again because I think this is a very important to pinpoint that having boundaries does not mean that you are selfish. It does not mean that and people will try to say to you that you are selfish when you start to put up boundaries that they are not accustomed to and are not used to. But hear me and hear me very clear. If they are mad about you having boundaries, that is not your problem. That's their problem. Let them stay there and sulk and soak in that because that's their issue. Having boundaries is a beautiful thing.

Ashley Brown 5:27
So let's go ahead and get into how your boundaries directly impact your routines because they do for sure. Your boundaries impact your routines on so many different levels. I'm going to share with you three ways that your boundaries impact your routines. And the first one is, when you don't know how to set boundaries, or you don't have strong boundaries, you will use your time to do things that are not that important to you. You will do routines that are not that important to you. That is how it affects your routines. But when you know your boundaries, and you know how you want to utilize your time versus how you don't want to spend your time, this will help to steer you in the right direction when it comes to which routines are actually deserving of your time. Like I said, the first step is really identifying what is a value to you. Because that's going to help you set boundaries, so that your routines are in alignment with what you value. That is so important. But when you don't have boundaries, and when you don't enforce the boundaries that you have created that you have put up, that is a huge problem. Because then you're going to start to see yourself drift back to doing things that are not value to you, that you really don't care about. And those routines are not going to be serving you. So having boundaries directly affects your routine and impact how effective your routines are.

Ashley Brown 6:56
Also, secondly, when you don't have boundaries, you will unknowingly overload or complicate your routine. And when you know how to set boundaries, it's like you know where that line is. And you're like, either you don't want somebody crossing that line, or even it's for yourself, you're like don't cross that line, you know where the line lies. But when you don't have boundaries, you don't know where that line lies, you don't know when you are actually stepping over that line and go into a territory that you don't want to be. So when you're creating routines, you might be like, Okay, I'm going to create this really elaborate routine that has a bunch of steps that is super complicated.

Ashley Brown 7:37
And then when you're not able to do it, you don't know why. And it's because you didn't have any boundary of how you are actually utilizing your time or you don't have any limit to when you know, this is enough. Right? It's like knowing when enough is enough. And when you lack boundaries, it's hard for you to distinguish when enough is enough. It's really hard for you to do that. It's more challenging for you to do that. So having boundaries and setting boundaries gives you a cut off point. It helps you to simplify your routines, simplify your life, because your routines can have a limit. They can be limitless, or they can have limits. But I'm here to tell you a routine that is complicated, a routine that has a lot going on in it, is going to be more complicated for you to stick to. So routines can have limits so that you are not doing everything under the sun in your routine. But that you are doing actions that are in alignment with your boundaries, and how you actually want to spend your time what you want to do in your day, how you want your life to actually feel. That's what having boundaries can do for you and your routine.

Ashley Brown 8:48
And then the final way that I feel boundaries impact your routine is when you fail to set boundaries, many times majority of your routines will fall you, if not all of them, if you're able to manage your routines then fine, but if majority, if not all of your routines are falling on you to do and to execute and to keep up with, if you don't have boundaries, you're going to get burnt out quickly. Having that boundary means that you know your limit. You know, this is enough. I can't do any more routines, I cannot keep up with any more routines. So somebody is going to have to help around here. So the question is really, can you create a boundary to where you know, this is your limit when it comes to the amount of routines that you can do on your own? And can your kids or your spouse help you? Or your partner help you? Can other family members in your home or people that may be living with you, can they help you with some routines?

Ashley Brown 9:59
Having boundaries means that you can advocate for yourself. Having boundaries allows you to advocate for you, advocate for yourself. So that you preserve your energy preserve your sanity, because like I said, having boundaries is about self preservation, it's about preserving you. Because if you're not concerned about keeping your sanity, if you're not concerned about preserving the energy that you have, living your best life, nobody else will be. So boundaries allows you to do this. Advocate for yourself. Advocating for yourself is just as important as if you were advocate for your child. If you knew someone was putting a lot on your child, when they're at school, or something like that, you will quickly be like and hold up. Right? Advocate for you. And setting boundaries does this automatically for you.

Ashley Brown 10:52
So this is how boundaries can really improve your routines. Because they allow you to get specific about which routines are really important of value to you. And that's highly important because you can't do every routine up under the sun. So which ones are really super important for you to have. Secondly, they help you to simplify your routine, so that you don't create routines that are over complicated, that are overloaded, so that you can have better success with sticking to your routine. And then lastly, boundaries really help you to not do everything yourself and not try to do every routine yourself. But to give some routines to others that can actually help you to start to think outside the box and lean on others. So those are the ways that boundaries really impact your routines. Sit with this today. Think about do you have strong boundaries? Do you feel like you do? Do you feel like you don't? If you feel like you have strong boundaries, great, you are good to go. Round of applause. Kudos to you, girl. But if you feel as if you don't have really strong boundaries, you can start working on them a small step at a time. What can you start to do today that will help you to start to cultivate and create and set those boundaries in place. And like I said, the first step that you can make today can be understanding what is it that you value? What are your core values for your life? Is it time? Is it energy? Is it family? What are your core values, and then making sure that anytime you are stepping outside of the values that you love and that you want to hold on to that you put up that wall and that you set that boundary and be like, I can't do this because I'm focused in this? Or can you help me because I need to do this thing so can you do this thing? Boundaries are beautiful.

Ashley Brown 13:13
I thought that was gonna be my routine wisdom. But that's not my routine wisdom for today. My routine wisdom for you today is 'your routines will only be as good as your boundaries'. Your routines will only be as good as your boundaries. So if you have sucky boundaries, you're going to have sucky routines. But on a more positive note, if you have beautiful boundaries strong, advocating for you type boundaries, then you will have beautiful, strong advocating for you type routines. So that is my routine wisdom for today. I hope that you took away some things that you can put into your back pocket, use within your life, and start to rethink how you perceive boundaries and learn that boundaries are for you. That's to help preserve us. And that's for all of us. So thank you for listening today. If you enjoyed today's episode, definitely take a screenshot, share it on social tag me at routine and things and I would love to know that you're listening and let me know what you took away from today. But until next time, I hope that you are enjoying wherever you are and whatever you're doing, girl, stay happy and I will talk to you next week.

Ashley Brown 14:33
[Outro] Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed today's episode, take a screenshot and share it on social, I would love to know you're listening. And for tools to help you start, maintain and enjoy your routines be sure to head to routineandthings.com. Here's to staying happy.
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