How To Help Older Kids Develop Routines

There are so many routines we can create, but which are great at energizing you. In this episode of the Routine and Things Podcast, I share which routines give you energy and why this is important to think about.
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Ashley Brown 0:00 [Intro]
If you've been trying to get your preteen or teenager to get into routine, today's episode is for you. In this episode of the routine and things podcast, I share how to help your older kids develop routines. This is a great episode to listen to with them. Let's get into it.

Ashley Brown 0:32
Have you heard the routine and things planner is finally on presale. The routine and things planner helps you get organized and in routine so that you enjoy the heck out of your life, you will be able to organize what matters while incorporating strong routines into your life. What's different about the routine and things planner? It uses routine blocking a simple planning method for organizing your tasks into four routine categories, you will be able to organize your weeks with ease, stay focused on your priorities. And keep top of mind what matters, including you, girl. If you want your planning to be effective and to do this in the simplest way possible than this planner is it. To get organized and use routines to create more space and freedom in your life. Get the routine and things planner today. To get your routine and things planner, you can head to or click the link in the show notes.

Ashley Brown 1:32
Hey, and welcome back for another episode of The Routine and Things podcast, where today I am answering a question that I received from one of you in this community. You asked me how do I get my older kids to develop routines? How do I help them? And so I thought this was a really great question. Because one you're just a lovely mama, for even thinking about this, I know you adore your kids. And we want our kids to be able to be responsible. We want our kids to, you know, develop skills that are going to be really helpful for them as they continue to grow and live life. And so I'm going to be sharing with you my perspective about this. No, I do not have older kids. My girls are almost three and five. So they're little still, even though every time I look at them, I'm like no, don't get big, don't get big. But then a part of me is like Yeah, I actually do want you to get older so you can do more for yourself. So it's just like that battle. But I do feel as if some of the things that I share today will be really helpful for you as you're helping your older kids develop and build routines for their life.

Ashley Brown 2:52
Okay, and so this is going to be really great. So how do you help your older kids develop routines? When I think about this, the first thing that comes to my mind is helping your older child build routines is really the same as you building a routine is really not a difference with children building routines versus us as adults, building routines is the same. So if you're wanting to help your child build a routine for their life, one communication is going to be key. That's first and foremost, you want to communicate with them that you want to be able to help them develop routines that are going to be helpful for them. And you're always going to start with one routine at a time. By the way, we're always doing one routine at a time. And so just letting them know, you know, I think it could be helpful for you to have a routine routines are helpful in this way. These are the benefits of routine. When you see me doing this, I am in routine.

Ashley Brown 3:55
And this is how it helps me and I think it could be helpful. What do you think about this, right? And so having communication with them surrounding a routine and how you want to support them in building the routine is is key. That's like first and foremost, because we want to be able to also give our children independence around creating their own routine. Yes, you can be there to guide your child while they're building it because they may not know how to build a routine step by step, but allowing them to at least have some control and independence around the routine they're building is going to be helpful too because it's going to feel more like their own because it is their own routine, right? You're not going to be doing the routine they're going to be doing it and so it's important that they build their own routine with your guidance. And so that's important as well. Whenever you're sitting down you have the conversation with your child.

Ashley Brown 4:53
What you want to also do in the first thing is assess which routine do they need more most right now. And really, they'll be able to tell you probably based upon what's going on in their life. So maybe not the exact routine. But what they will be able to tell you is like, this is where I'm struggling, or this is why I find I have the most challenge in my day, in my life, or even you can offer suggestions to them. Because right sometimes it's hard for us to pinpoint was a challenge for us sometimes, especially as younger people, right, it's kind of hard to pinpoint what's an issue, because really, they start to learn what's an issue through us. Right. And this really true, like, your child really starts to learn, like, Oh, this is an issue because we bring it to their attention. So it's okay to bring things to their attention, like, Baby, you don't really get up as energized in the morning, or, or you're slower in the morning, or maybe when you go to bed, you're always going to bed at midnight.

Ashley Brown 6:00
And you know, you have to get up for school in the morning, right? Like, you can start to just give them some insight around what could be helpful for them if they're struggling to pinpoint where they're having their challenges. But you always want to assess first what they really need right now. And it's okay to have some input here, when they are building the routine. This is what's really important to focus on with your children, right? Older kids, kids overall, keeping the routine very simple. So no matter which routine your child builds, they need to keep it very simple. Because it's already a challenge for us as adults to sometimes get into a routine for an older child is going to be a challenge somewhat for them to get into routine too. So don't have a complicated routine, you know, if you see that they're building it. And it's a lot of steps. It's like, no, let's keep it very simple, because you want to be able to maintain this routine. So simplicity is important, because we want to make sure the routine is doable for them.

Ashley Brown 7:04
And also that the routine meshes well with who they are as people meshes well with how they normally and naturally want to flow, not creating a routine that's so far outside of who they are, because they're not going to be able to stick to it. So if you know that your child has a hard time waking up in the morning, or it's just slower in the morning, we don't want to rush their mornings and like these are the things you need to be doing your morning. No like let's, think about a morning routine that can ease you into your morning. And these are some things that you could do if they're struggling, right, because it's all about guiding them, you know, helping them develop this routine is going to be supportive in their life. The last thing I'll say about helping your older kids develop routines is once the routine is created, it's also important that we help them brainstorm challenges that may arise with them continuing to do the routine.

Ashley Brown 7:04
So really thinking about, well, what are some things that may come up that may hinder you from doing your routine, because if you're having a challenge with your routine, it may hinder you from continuing to do it. And so let's think about some challenges that may come up. For example, maybe you have a child that's about to go to college, oh my gosh, God bless you. But if you have a child that's about to go to college, then maybe it's okay, you start this morning routine. But let's think about this, let's say you stay out with your friends really late at night, and you need to get up to get to class, how are you going to overcome this challenge of not getting enough sleep so that you can do your morning routine and get to class on time, right. So that's really important because it gives them perspective around like things are not always gonna go perfectly. And many times it's not honestly but things are gonna come up challenges are going to arise.

Ashley Brown 8:54
So I want for you to know this so that you can have a better chance of overcoming this challenge. That can be important as well. So those are my tips about helping your older kids develop routines. The very important piece that I want for you to remember here is that they need to develop their own routine with your guidance because this is going to give them the skill and the routine building handbook is a great resource for them. You can get them the routine building handbook so it's at and available on Amazon as well. But you can get them this book and what you can do because all parts of it is not for them right because the book is really geared towards women and mothers. And so however parts of this book would be great for them to read and review. And so what you could do as the parent is going to highlight the certain parts that will be helpful for them to read.

Ashley Brown 9:49
And then you can say you know what, this is a book for you. You can go into a read this let me know if you have questions, build out your routine, and then come back to me and let's review it. And so the book Look would be a really great resource for them. And also this podcast could be great for them as well. But that's it. That's all I have to share. Hopefully that was helpful for you. Thank you for this question. Be sure to come back next week I'm answering another question. And the one that I'm answering next is a really cool one. So I hope that you can come back and join me for next week. So I want to share that the routine and things planner is available right now its on presale for you to get yours get your routine and things planner, you want to get it while it's on presale, because I'm only getting a limited quantity this year because it's the first time that I am launching the planner.

Ashley Brown 10:41
And so it's really important that if you want to planner this year, go ahead and get it sooner rather than later. This is an amazing planner for helping you get organized and in routine so that you enjoy life is a very simple planner. It uses routine blocking a planning method that really helps you with organizing your weeks with ease, staying on top of your priorities and keeping top of mind what matters including yourself. And so go check out the planner read all about it. Get yours today. It's available at\plan or you can click the link in the show notes as well. That's it for today. Be sure to rate and review the show. Thank you for joining me and take a screenshot share it on social let me know that you're listening but until next time, continue to enjoy wherever you are. Whatever you're doing, girl, Stay happy, and I'll talk to you soon.

Ashley Brown 11:32 [Outro]
Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed today's episode, take a screenshot and share it on social I would love to know you're listening and for tools to help you start maintain and enjoy your routines. Be sure to head to Here's to staying happy

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