The Biggest Lessons I've Learned That Help Me Manage Life Well

Life teaches you a lot of lessons if you’re open to receiving them. In this episode of the Routine and Things Podcast I share what has helped me manage all the moving parts in my life in a way that feels good to me. Tune in to hear the biggest lessons I’ve learned that help me manage life well.
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Ashley Brown 0:00 [Intro]
Life teaches you a lot of lessons if you're open to receiving them. In this episode of the routine and things podcast I share what has helped me manage all the moving parts in my life in a way that feels good to me. Tune in to hear the biggest lessons I've learned that helped me manage life well.

Ashley Brown 0:32
Before we get into today's episode, have you ever wondered which routine is the best for you to start right now, if you are unsure of which routine will best meet the needs of your home and life at this very moment, you now have a way to find out. I've created for you a very simple and free routine assessment that will help you identify which routine you really need most right now, to take this quick assessment that will point you in the right direction and get you started with the right routine. Click the link in the show notes or head to routineandthings.com. All right, let's go ahead and get into today's episode.

Ashley Brown 1:07
Hey, girl, hey, welcome back for another episode of the routine and things podcast. I am your host, Ashley. And if you're returning, and this is not your first time listening, can I just say thank you. Thank you so much for listening to the podcast, I hope that you enjoy it. And if so, please rate and review the show, it really helps to get the show in front of people who really need it. And if this is your first time listening, welcome, I'm so happy you're here. So in today's episode, I wanted to chat about lessons that I've learned in my life that have been really beneficial to me, I do feel as if I manage life in a way that feels good.

Ashley Brown 1:49
And of course, this episode says managing life well. And with life comes ups comes downs comes challenges. And so my life is in no way perfect. But I do manage life well most of the time, most of the time. And I am grateful to be able to even say that, because I remember having very much seasons of my life where life didn't feel so good. And where I felt like life was very much unmanageable from not just a structure component, but also an emotional component and a spiritual component. So I want to share with you today, some lessons that I've learned that have helped me and that I really think will help you as well. Now, let's get into this.

Ashley Brown 2:37
So the first lesson that stands out to me so much is that perfectionism is harmful. Like this is a lesson that I had to learn the hard way, God kept trying to tell me like girl, you got to ease up off of this perfectionism, which of course this comes from conditioning comes from many times, things that have played out in our upbringing, that leads us to feeling like we need to be perfect. And that's something that you can definitely dig into on your own. I know that I've done therapy to really start to overcome and unlearn the things that have led me to feel like I need it to be perfect, I no longer have that belief or struggle with perfectionism as much as I did in the past.

Ashley Brown 2:37
And so that is something that I've learned is that trying to be perfect, and wanting things to be like, in a certain way, is not helpful. Like it really keeps you stressed. Because you feel like you have to have all the i's dotted, all your T's crossed. And that sends you into a mode of stress and overwhelm, and can honestly and will honestly burn you out in your life. Because with the constant changes of life, and in certain seasons, that can be harder for us and more challenging, trying to stick to this perfectionism. And wanting things to look a certain way, when maybe it's not even necessary is a huge stressor.

Ashley Brown 4:10
So in life, I've learned how to let things go easier, how to go with the flow, how to release the perfectionism and accept where I am and what's happening at the certain time. Knowing and trusting that I can figure it out knowing that things are going to work out well. And even if they don't work out, well, I'm going to find my way. And so that's something that has been really helpful for me and managing life well because I'm not as stressed when my children do certain things or when my partner does certain things. It's like, No, I'm good. Like it's gonna be fine. This doesn't have to be perfect.

Ashley Brown 4:52
This doesn't even have to look the way that I want it to look. I focus more so on the outcome. Like what out come do I want from this experience, and I don't care how we get there. I just want to get there. And so that has been a big lesson for me in managing my life well is releasing this perfectionism that shows up honestly, for me, it showed up in me being a control freak. And so if you're experiencing that, and you are constantly getting really upset, when the people around you don't do things how you do them, or you want things to be done in a certain way, and you are kind of micromanaging, honestly, is what it looks like. Start to release that some, and start to allow those around you to do things in a different way.

Ashley Brown 5:41
Because that can help you manage life well, because you're not doing everything yourself. Perfectionism can also show up in us doing everything ourselves, because we want it done in a certain way. And that is not helpful, or healthy for for us, it's not helpful for you in doing everything because you burn yourself out and you stay stressed in life. And so I know that's not the life you want to live. So that's, that's the one lesson I've learned. The second biggest lesson that I've learned in my life is how you were taught to do something may not be best for you now. So of course, we've grown up being conditioned to think things are supposed to look this way, feel this way, be this way.

Ashley Brown 6:22
But then when we get out on our own as adults, we start to sometimes rebel against what we've learned. Or sometimes we find how we learn to do something isn't really working for us in a certain season of life. For example, I think I've talked about this before, my mom was a stickler for us not having any dishes in the sink at night. And so I grew up thinking like no dish could be in the sink at night. And when I started to have children, it got hard to keep that up. And I would literally push myself to the brink just to get dishes out of the sink until I realized, no, I can wash the dishes in the morning. I can actually leave the dishes in the sink for two days. And it's no problem for me so.

Ashley Brown 7:08
So I had to really start to unlearn these things that I was taught in my younger years and start to realize how I was taught that thing. If it doesn't work in the current season of life that that I'm in, I'm not going to keep it going. Because it just caused a lot of stress and anxiety for no reason whatsoever. Like, it was so unnecessary for me to think that dishes needed to be out of the sink at night. Like for what reasoning? Like, if I don't have rodents running around my house? Right? If the dishes are not like completely filled with food, why do I need to wash the dishes at night like they can be done the next day?

Ashley Brown 7:48
Like it's not that big of a deal. And so really thinking about are you doing things or trying to keep up with things that you were taught that no longer really work for you and the season of life that you're in like that can be a great way of you starting to learn to manage life better, because your life looks different than how it did when your parents were raising you. Right? Like your life may be very different than your parents. Or maybe it's not different, but you're a different individual than your parents, which is perfectly fine. So really starting to question how you go about doing things.

Ashley Brown 8:23
And knowing that just because your parents or who raised you said it was supposed to be done this way is not fact. And it's not even the best way sometimes. So that was something that I learned that was a huge shift for me. So I just wanted to share that with you. The last thing I want to share with you that has been very much instrumental in me managing life well, is this concept of curiosity, like getting curious about how I go about doing things like really taking inventory in my life and looking at Wait, what did I do today? How did I feel doing the things that I did today?

Ashley Brown 9:03
Was it a better way that I could have gone about doing this thing that has been so instrumental in me managing my life? Well, because when you take inventory of your life, and you get curious about your time, like the things that you're spending time on, when you get curious about how you're doing certain things in your life, it can be as simple as you know how like really taking an inventory of how you're waking up in the morning and how you feel when you wake up in the morning. And if you're constantly feeling groggy or down or maybe you have a pessimistic view when you wake up in the morning of how your day is going to go, like you can start to one become aware of that but then also take steps towards improving the things that might need to be improved in that area.

Ashley Brown 9:52
So that has been a very huge lesson that I've learned is that curiosity is so important to tap into in your life, and take inventory of the ways that you're moving in your life and how you're doing things. Because if you never assess how you're doing things in your life, then you sometimes won't recognize where the problem is coming from. And so you can't work towards solving that problem. So that's another lesson that I learned get curious, take inventory. I've done multiple times studies throughout my life, where like, I'll do it for an entire like five days where every day, every hour, I would write down like what I did.

Ashley Brown 10:35
And then when you go back and look at it, you're like, wait, I'm spending so much time doing this, or this took me far longer than it probably needed to. And this is the reason why. So that can be really helpful for you when it comes to managing your life well, because how you want to feel in life, you can feel however you want to feel in life. So if you want to feel really good and really positive and want to feel at peace in your life, you can is just about unlearning certain things. It's about, you know, really training yourself to look at how you're moving and take an action towards changing the things that you need to change.

Ashley Brown 11:12
So those are the three lessons I want to share with you today really short and sweet, but they're really impactful. And I want for you to remember them. One that perfectionism kills, it is so harmful for us to continue to strive for perfectionism. As Brene Brown has said before, perfectionism is a defense mechanism is a way that we've learned to protect ourselves based upon certain things that have happened to us in the past. It is not striving for excellence, perfectionism is not striving for excellence, it is a defense mechanism. And so when you feel this coming up, start to just become aware of it, and then you can work towards changing it. So perfectionism is harmful

Ashley Brown 11:59
Also the second one is how you were taught to do something may not be best for you right now. So really start to become aware, if you're doing things that don't feel good, like, why are you doing them, and really having a why behind everything that you do. Because you might notice, I don't need to be doing this this way, just because I learned to do it by my parents or in the past. And then also, the last lesson is to get curious in your life and take inventory of the things you're doing, how you're spending your time, how you are moving on a day to day basis, how you're feeling, get curious in your life. So hopefully this was helpful for you. Please be sure I mentioned the top of this episode about the routine assessment.

Ashley Brown 12:44
So if you are working on getting your routines up and going this can be a really helpful assessment that takes you through five routine categories to know which category you may want to focus on. And so that can be found in the show notes. The link is in the show notes or you can go to routineandthings.com\assessment. And you can take that free routine assessment. Before you leave today, if you could do me a huge favor rate and review the show. That would be so helpful. And until next time, continue to enjoy wherever you are, whatever you're doing, Stay happy, and I'll talk to you soon.

Ashley Brown 13:19 [Outro]
Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed today's episode, take a screenshot and share it on social I would love to know you're listening and for tools to help you start maintain and enjoy your routines. Be sure to head to routineandthings.com Here's to staying happy


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