Ashley Brown 0:00 [Intro]
Our minds are so powerful and can either feed us helpful thoughts or thoughts that keep us in a place we don't want to be. In this episode of the routine and things podcast I share beliefs you may be holding on to, that are moving you further away from the life you desire to live. Tune in to learn three unhelpful beliefs that are keeping you stuck and stressed.
Ashley Brown 0:35
Before we get into today's episode, have you ever wonder which routine is the best for you to start right now, if you are unsure of which routine will best meet the needs of your home and life at this very moment, you now have a way to find out. I've created for you a very simple and free routine assessment that will help you identify which routine you really need most right now, to take this quick assessment that will point you in the right direction and get you started with the right routine. Click the link in the show notes or head to routine and things.com. All right, let's go ahead and get into today's episode.
Ashley Brown 1:11
Hey, welcome back for another episode. I'm so happy you are here because this is going to be a good one today. This is something that I've been wanting to talk about for a while now. And it's all about unhelpful beliefs that are keeping you stuck and stressed. If you are feeling overwhelmed these days, if you're feeling like life is just not feeling good, and you want to be better able to manage your life and to not have so much stress and so much anxiety. I'm telling you, you want to stay tuned for this episode, I am going to be sharing with you three beliefs that are not serving you. And I'm here to tell you right now, I've had all of these beliefs, I've had to undo all of these beliefs and work towards that, in order for me to get to a place where you know what life feels good.
Ashley Brown 2:04
And I know I'm gonna be okay, so. So let's get into this. Because I want you to know, like, there's things that you can do to live life in a better way. If right now your life feels stressful, and you feel as if you don't know what to do, the thing about it is you can move towards living life in a way that feels good to you, you just have to start to undo some of the conditioning, that are beliefs that you have attached to that hold you back. That's really it. Because what drives our behavior, and how life shows up for us is really about how we think that moves into how we feel and then our behaviors come from how we feel. And so a lot of what I'm going to share with you today, these beliefs are holding you back, if you're experiencing any of these, then that's what's holding you back right now.
Ashley Brown 3:07
And there could be even possibly more beliefs that you're holding on to but I'm gonna say three huge beliefs that I know for a fact keep you stressed and keep you stuck in life. Because I don't want you to stay in that place, I want for you to be able to move towards how you want to feel. Okay, so the three unhelpful beliefs I want to share with you, the first one is believing that it has to be done this way. Oh, my gosh, it has to be done. This way, if it's not done this way. I don't know what's going to happen. That belief is based in perfectionism, that belief is based in you wanting things to be perfect and to look a certain way and to be done a certain way. And how that keeps you stress and stuck is because you aren't allowing yourself grace or allowing yourself to accept help.
Ashley Brown 4:06
And you're honestly causing yourself a lot of anxiety by thinking something has to be done in this fashion. Or in this way. You know what I mean, if you're attaching to this is like I remember I used to be this way where it was like, Oh my gosh, I hated how my partner washed the dishes. And it would just drive me insane. And I would just be like, why does he washed dishes like this? Why does he not do them? Like this? And that drove me insane. Like me wanting to like nitpick everything that he was doing in certain ways. When it's like it's really none of my daggone business. Like to be perfectly honest, how he wants to do things is none of my business. And honestly, as long as the outcome and the result that I want is happening. I don't care how he does it.
Ashley Brown 5:00
I don't care how we get to the outcome as long as we get there. And I had to release that belief that it needed to be done this way. Because it also didn't allow me to get help when I needed it. Because what happens I will ask my partner or someone in my life, Oh, could you do this. And if they didn't move quick enough, or if I felt as if I didn't trust them to do it in the way that I wanted it to be done, I would just do it myself. And I'm telling you after time it burned me out. And you may be experiencing this right now you're feeling burned out because you feel like you're doing everything. But many times why we are doing everything is because we're not trusting those around us to do it in a way that we think is the right way or should be done this way. And in all honesty, it's not helpful. Like if you want to feel good in your life, and you don't want to be as stressed.
Ashley Brown 6:00
Getting help is important. Having help is important. And also releasing this perfectionism. And control is so important. And I talked about this in the previous episode all about perfectionism. So if you want to listen to that episode, it is episode 136. And so I'll link it in the show notes too. But yes, that is such an unhelpful belief that it has to be done this way. So that's the first one. The second belief that maybe you have is that you're telling yourself and believing that I don't know what to do. So maybe you are feeling really stressed life is feeling chaotic. You are tired of feeling overwhelmed day to day. But you're like I don't know what to do. I just don't know what can help me. I don't know what to do. I just feel like, what what am I to do? That belief will keep you stuck. And it will keep recycling in your mind. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.
Ashley Brown 6:59
Because anytime you're saying to yourself, and letting your mind believe I don't know what to do. The behavior that comes after that is you do nothing, because you keep saying I don't know what to do versus saying you know what, I may not know what to do right now, but I'm going to find out. That's a different belief. Yeah, you may honestly not know what to do. But you can also be in search of a solution, right. And so the thought of I don't know what to do is not helpful, because it's going to keep you not taking action. Because it's a, I'm trying to figure out the right word for this. But it's basically a cop out. And if you continue to feed yourself that cop out excuse of like, I don't know what to do, when there's so much resources out here is the internet, you have people around you that are living life. And so you may not know what to do at this instant, but you can find out.
Ashley Brown 8:00
So anytime you're saying to yourself, or believing that you don't know what to do change that reframe that thought and be like, You know what, I may not know what to do right now. But you know what I'm going to try to find out, I'm going to ask someone around me, I'm going to go on the internet to try to figure out what can be helpful, because there's ways for you to solve problems in your life. And that's something that I've learned is that when it comes to living life, you have to be able to solve problems, or you're going to stay stuck, or you're going to feel like life does not feel well for you because you are staying complacent and where you are instead of saying you know what I'm going to solve this problem. And I'm going to look into ways to solve this problem. So that's another unhelpful belief that I want you to do away with. You may not know what to do exactly what to do, but you know what you can find out. That's the second one.
Ashley Brown 8:50
The third one I want to share with you is this belief that I need the perfect solution. There is no perfect solution. And how this really comes up is if you're looking for this, for example, this is an example that I got from someone. I was talking to a woman. I don't know, this probably was like a year ago. And she was like, I want to try to get more organized, I need to get a planner, and this was one of my co workers. And so she was like I need to get a planner. And so she was like I've been researching all of these planners, and just nothing just seems to stand out to me. I don't know if any of them will work for me. And I was just looking and I was thinking to myself, like just choose one. You know what I mean? Because sometimes we're looking for that perfect solution and ain't no perfect solution is a solution that you can try to see if it actually works for you. But there's not gonna be a perfect planner for you to get organized.
Ashley Brown 9:51
There's not going to be a perfect way for you to manage your time. There are solutions and ways for you to manage your time there are solutions and ways for you to plan and right, there are solutions and ways for you to feel better in your life. But nothing is perfect is no perfect solution is only trying something, see if it works. And then if it works, nice, it worked. If it doesn't, okay, this didn't work, try something different. Because where we will stay stuck is when we're looking for that perfect solution. So we don't take action, the quicker that you can take action, the quicker that you can get to where you're trying to go, the more that you stall, because you're looking for the perfect solution, or you want it to feel just right for you to take action, that's always going to stall your progress in life, it's going to keep you stuck, because you're not acting on where what you need to in order to get to where you're trying to go.
Ashley Brown 10:44
So that's something that is a major for you to hold on to is that there is no perfect solution. If you need to solve a problem, and you know, something that could help and you're aware of something that could help do it. See if it works, if it doesn't try something else. And don't feel like it's a failure, because it didn't work for you. It didn't work, but at least you tried it. And now you know, right? And now you can give that information maybe to someone else. Or maybe it's like this didn't work for me, but I think this would be perfect for you. Right. And this thing called life is about experiences. And every experience doesn't have to be ideal in order for us to gain something from it. And so know that there is no perfect solution when it comes to solving a problem in your life. But if you know of one that might be helpful to you try it and see if it works. And you never know it just may work. And it just may be ideal for you.
Ashley Brown 11:42
So that's another unhelpful belief that I wanted to share. Those are the things I wanted to share with you today those beliefs, keeping you stress keeping you stuck, this belief that it has to be done this way, my way. No, ma'am. It doesn't, it does not if it is not a safety issue. It does not have to be your way. And it does not have to be a certain way. Allow people to help you allow you to help your own self by not feeling like it has to be a certain way, start trying different ways of doing things in your life. And you'll see, you'll get the same result you get the same outcome. It doesn't matter how you get to the beach, as long as you get to the beach, it does not matter, right. Also this belief that I don't know what to do, let's eliminate that. You may not know what to do at this moment, you can find out start to reframe that thought pattern, because you don't want to stay stuck. And then the last one is that I need the perfect solution.
Ashley Brown 12:43
There is no perfect solution to any problem in life, there are only solutions that you can try and see if it works for you. So keep these things in mind as you go throughout this week as you go throughout your life in general. And if you do see that. The first step honestly, as you become aware that you're even having these beliefs, if you can start paying attention to how you're thinking and you start to become aware that wait I'm holding on to these beliefs that are not serving me. That's the first step then you can work towards reframing those beliefs and unlearning and relearning new beliefs that you can put in place of those. Hopefully this was helpful, I know that that has been helpful for me just really unlearning and letting go of these beliefs that have kept me stressed and stuck in my life. So I want to share those with you as well.
Ashley Brown 13:33
So that's it for this episode. If you could rate and review the show, that would help me so much I would love if you wouldn't do that, because I love doing the podcast and talking to you on here. And one way that you can help those around you is by leaving a rating and review of the show so that when people are searching for a podcast, this one comes up, and it may just be the perfect solution to their problem. It may just be the ideal solution to their problem. Let me put it that way. So I would love if you could rate and review the show. But until next time, continue to enjoy wherever you are, whatever you're doing, Stay happy, and I'll talk to you next week.
Ashley Brown 14:16 [Outro]
Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed today's episode, take a screenshot and share it on social I would love to know you're listening and for tools to help you start maintain and enjoy your routines. Be sure to head to routineandthings.com Here's to staying happy