How To Establish Routines For Your Family and Get Them Onboard

If you are wanting to start a routine that will help your home run a bit smoother, this episode is for you. In this episode of the Routine and Things Podcast, you’ll learn what’s needed to establish routines for your family and get them onboard. I’m sharing a simple script that will help you make it happen. Tune in!
Word for Word

Ashley Brown 0:00 [Intro]
Routines are my absolute favorite word, but you either love them or you're working on getting there. And either way, I strongly believe routines can be a springboard for improving your home, yourself and your life. I'm Ashley Brown. And this is the routine and things podcast. In each episode, I'll share practical tips and simple ways for you to consistently live your happiest life, one routine at a time. Trust me, you're gonna want to keep listening, because you're well on your way to getting and staying happy.

Ashley Brown 0:31
Before we get into today's episode, have you ever wonder which routine is the best for you to start right now, if you are unsure of which routine will best meet the needs of your home and life at this very moment, you now have a way to find out. I've created for you a very simple and free routine assessment that will help you identify which routine you really need most right now, to take this quick assessment that will point you in the right direction and get you started with the right routine. Click the link in the show notes or head to All right, let's go ahead and get into today's episode.

Ashley Brown 1:22
Hey, welcome back for another episode. I'm your girl Ashley Brown of the routine and things podcast. And today I am answering a question that I received from a community member. So I sent out a survey every single year. And I've read through every single response, I take what you all say very seriously. And I like to be able to answer questions that I receive from the survey. And so today I'm doing just that, I am going to share with you how to establish routines for your family and get them on board. Because as you're starting your routines, this is going to be really critical for some of you, it's going to be very critical that you get your family on board with routines. Because if they're not on board, then the routine probably isn't going to be a success, or as much of a success that you would like. And so I wanted to share what I know to be true. And what I know can be helpful when it comes to establishing routines for your family and getting them on board.

Ashley Brown 2:27
Because this is imperative if you want to have smoother success with a routine you start maybe you're feeling stressed because your family has thrown off your routines in the past. Maybe you want to be proactive to ensure they don't right no matter what the case may be. If your family isn't on board, then it's just going to be more of an uphill battle for you. And so I'm answering this question today to give you some insight. So that this is something that you can find success in. Okay, so what's needed what's needed to get your family on board with routines or just establish routines for your family? First and foremost, you need to get clear on if the routine is actually for your family. Okay, so if the routine is for your family, then yes, it is so important that you get them on board. If the routine is not for your family, you do not need your family's input, you just need their acknowledgement. Let me say that again, it is important that you get clear on if the routine is actually for you or for your family. If the routine is for you.

Ashley Brown 3:26
You do not need your family's input. You just need their acknowledgement, which means you just need for them to acknowledge that they know that you're starting the routine, that this is a routine that you want to get up and going you want to stick to. Right You're sharing this with your partner. You're sharing this with your older kids who can comprehend what you're saying for me, I share with my kids when I'm doing certain things like when I'm doing my exercise when I'm doing my self care and I want to sit upstairs in my room for 10 to 15 minutes without them bothering me. I tell them mommy's doing herself care. Mommy's doing her self care mommy's moving her body. Right? I started sharing this with my daughter around four. I think four is a good age five, is an even better age because they're starting to comprehend they can they know how to sometimes play with themselves and or entertain themselves. And they also understand what you're saying for the most part. And if they don't, that's when they ask you a whole bunch of questions. So you want to get clear on if their routine is for you.

Ashley Brown 4:27
Or if it's for your family. If it's for your family, of course you need their input that is going to be really essential. And I'll get to that in a minute. But if it's not for your family, and it's for you, you do not need their input. You just need their acknowledgement. So you need to share with them that you're starting the routine and see what they have to say about it. We really don't care what they have to say about but we want to see hopefully I say good job, ma. Good job, wifey. Good job, honeybun. Great. How can I support you? And even if they don't say that as long as you tell them they're not They're not in the dark about it, because that's the thing. You don't want people in the dark about you starting doing something and then you get mad at them. It's like when we want to start a diet or eating differently. And your husband keep bringing in the snacks and the deserts and you get mad at him, you ain't told him? Did you tell him? Did you tell him that you was about to start doing intermittent fasting and eating more veggies?

Ashley Brown 5:28
And to try not to bring in a whole bunch of desserts and snacks? And if so hide them from you? Did you tell him that? Right? So we have to, we have to communicate that is so imperative. Okay? Once you get clear if the routine is for you or for your family. The second thing is if the routine is actually for your family, you have to have a conversation, you have to open up a conversation. That is I was about to say imperative again, but I'm trying to use that word that is important, okay? You have to have conversation. If your family is going to be doing a routine with you or have some part to play in the routine, you have to communicate with them, open up a conversation, and I'm going to share with you what this conversation can look like, Okay, this is a little script for you. This is what I do. This is what I would do. If I wanted to talk to my family today about a routine, especially my partner, this is what I would do. First, I would say this is what I'm noticing, I will open up the conversation with this. First of all, you got to tell me you want to have a conversation about starting a new routine.

Ashley Brown 6:32
First and foremost, you want to just let them know what the conversation is going to be about. You don't want them to be guessing like what mama want to talk to us about what this woman want to talk to me about. First tell them, I want to have a conversation about starting a new routine for the family for us. And you will say this is what I'm noticing. And then you're gonna spill out what you're noticing, I'm noticing that in the mornings, we are always rushing, and we get at the door way too late. And so and so is always dropped off to school, 10 minutes after the time, when class actually starts, right, you're gonna lay out what you're noticing. The second thing that you're gonna say is, this is what I think will help. So you got to lay out the routine, you ain't got to be all detailed, what you can say I think it'd be helpful for us to start to build or create a different morning routine, so that we can actually get out the door in a good enough time and get people to school at a time that is actually beneficial and more helpful.

Ashley Brown 7:27
I don't want us rushing. So I think a morning routine, what really helped us not rush as much a different morning routine. After you say that, then you're going to say thoughts. What do y'all think? And you're going to be quiet. Just like I'm being right now you're going to be quiet. That's what you're going to do. And you're going to hear what your family has to say. Because if you have a partner in the home with you, and if you have older kids, they're going to say something, and they might not say much anything about okay, cool. They may say, Alright, so what is this morning routine look like? What are you thinking? They may say, I don't think we have a problem in the morning. You think we have a problem in the morning? I don't think that we'd be rushing. Right? Like that's why you're saying thoughts? That's why you're going to ask thoughts. What do you all think? Because you want to hear what's in their heads? How do they feel about their morning about the morning routine? Because you may see it, they don't have a problem with the morning routine.

Ashley Brown 8:16
So they you know, where to where to continue the conversation where to go deeper with examples, right? They'll give you time if they're not just like cool, what do you think, you know, let's try to put together a routine. And they have some objection to it. Because in their viewpoint, they're not seeing it the way that you are, then that's when you can give examples. That's when you know where the conversation needs to go. Right. And sometimes, you might see there's like Ma, I don't have a problem with the routine in the morning. I feel like you be the one around here rushing all the time, you be real stressed out in the morning, and I be over here, like I don't know what's going on with Mama, that could be a chance for you to check in with yourself. Maybe you just need your own mini routine is really not the family routine, that is a problem. So that's why it's important to state what you're noticing, then state what you think will help and then ask for their thoughts.

Ashley Brown 9:07
Because this will help you understand what's needed next, what conversation needs to be had next, whether that conversation is with them, whether the conversation is with yourself, Okay, the last thing that you're gonna do, if they are like, Yes, I think that might be helpful or they're like cool, okay, my great or great Wifey great or great partner great. If they're like good, then what you're going to do is create the routine together, or at least get their input after the creating the routine. So if you're going to be the one that's putting the routine together, you need to make sure you get their input after creating the routine. And then that helps everyone know what they are responsible for and what the routine entails. So if y'all need to switch it up because somebody is like, and they don't really work for me, I don't know what what about doing this is set, everybody knows what they're responsible for how the routine looks, and then y'all can start the routine but add is that is what it is.

Ashley Brown 10:02
That's what it is, when you are thinking about establishing routines for your family and getting them on board, it is so important to understand if the routine is actually for your family, if that's what's needed, have a conversation about it, have their input on the routine itself, and then get the routine started. I hope that was helpful. I hope that was helpful, because this will be helpful for me. I know that I've had to have conversations with my especially with my partner is like, Come on, let's get it together. This is what we can do. This is what we do for the kids, you know, so it's good to have conversation. It's great to open up dialogue. It just helps things so much better when there's dialogue and conversation to be had. Right. So that's what I wanted to share with you today. And if you found this episode helpful, please take a screenshot, share it on Instagram Stories tag me at routine and things and I would love to share and say thank you for listening. If you enjoy the podcast Be sure to rate and review the show and until next time, continue to enjoy wherever you are. Whatever you're doing, stay happy girl and I will talk to you next week.

Ashley Brown 11:12 [Outro]
Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed today's episode, take a screenshot and share it on social I would love to know you're listening and for tools to help you start maintain and enjoy your routines. Be sure to head to Here's to staying happy

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