Ashley Brown 0:00 [Intro]
Routines are my absolute favorite word, but you either love them or you're working on getting there. And either way, I strongly believe routines can be a springboard for improving your home, yourself and your life. I'm Ashley Brown. And this is the routine and things podcast. In each episode, I'll share practical tips and simple ways for you to consistently live your happiest life, one routine at a time. Trust me, you're gonna want to keep listening, because you're well on your way to getting and staying happy.
Ashley Brown 0:31
Before we get into today's episode, have you ever wondered which routine is the best for you to start right now, if you are unsure of which routine will best meet the needs of your home and life at this very moment, you now have a way to find out. I've created for you a very simple and free routine assessment that will help you identify which routine you really need most right now, to take this quick assessment that will point you in the right direction and get you started with the right routine. Click the link in the show notes or head to routineandthings.com Alright, let's go ahead and get into today's episode.
Ashley Brown 1:21
Hey, girl, hey, welcome back for another episode of the routine and things podcast where today I am going to be sharing with you an Instagram Live that I did a while back on the first step to make any routine stick. This is a great live to bring back around because as you are building routine, starting your routines, I want for you to have the most success possible. And so I think sharing this live conversation is relevant today and will help you to better stick to your routines. And before we get into the live conversation, I want for you to know that anytime I go live on Instagram, I always save these lives to YouTube. And so we have a YouTube channel if you did not know about it, now you know. Routine and things is on YouTube. And so you can find our live conversations on YouTube including this one today. You can head to the link in the show notes to subscribe. But let's go ahead and get into today's episode. Today on the morning routine show. I am going to be sharing with you the first step for making any routine stick.
Ashley Brown 2:32
Okay, the first step to maintain your routine the first step to keeping it consistent. Like that is the key right that's where many of us struggle when it comes to routines. Because we'll build a routine will create the steps but then keeping it consistent is where we struggle that has been you say me thank you for being here. I'm super excited about today because this is my jam routines are my jam and helping you become consistent with routines is my jam. I feel like throughout my life and this is not even on like no braggadocious thing. But throughout my life, I do have a very high skill for being consistent. And I remember I took the test what is it? Um, the strengths finders tests. I don't know if y'all have taken that test. But I took it I was in a business program, I took it and they were like, these are your top 10 strengths. And number one was consistency. And I was like yep, I know execution was also up there like I can execute very well which that's a learned behavior.
Ashley Brown 3:38
That's really I feel like sometimes we think that's just innately and people but honestly, this is a learned behavior for sure. So I want to share with you what is the first step to making any routine stick what is the first step. So before we get into that, let me just give you a backstory of how I even came to understanding this was the first step in building and like maintaining your routines is so I came to have routine and things because I was a stay at home mom back in 2018 I was a stay at home mom for about close to three years. And before that I was a nurse educator I taught nursing students for over six years. I loved it. It was my jam. I coach them I was in simulation. It was just something I love teaching. So teaching is my heart. And during that transition, being a working mom to stay at home mom, like my life totally fell apart. Like I was so disorganized. Life was chaotic. I had my baby girl here my oldest daughter I was the only child that I had at the time and things just started to get real crazy around here and I started to lose my mind.
Ashley Brown 4:39
If I'm going to be all the way through with I started to lose my mind I started to I went into a major depression during the time because it was a mix of things with a combination of things identity issues in there because I'm like what, what is my worth? If I'm not working like because I'm a high achieving type woman. So I'm like, wait, I'm just here taking care of my baby and cleaning the house. I don't know about that. So that was a part of it. As well as I didn't really understand routines back then, like I felt like I was trying to make the routines that I had when I was a working mom stick. And it wasn't working. And so I remember by the grace of God, because I really credit God for me understanding like coming up starting to create routines just in general, I felt like God said, you just need better routines. So I started creating routines. I didn't know what I was doing. I was like, Okay, how do I create a daggone on routine? Like, yeah, this is what I need. But I did not have a clue.
Ashley Brown 5:34
And so just little by little trial and error, I started to figure out like, what made routines work, what didn't make them work. And this took time. This was not an overnight thing. This took time. But I use my nursing brain, my teaching brain, and I made it happen over time. Like I said, it was a lot of trial and error. But I've started to understand what really helped a routine stick. And what I learned because it's one of what I want to share with you. What I learned is that the first step to making any routine stick is understanding that routine building and maintenance is a skill. After all of that time, I started to understand like, Wait, like this was something that I learned, this wasn't something that innately came to me, this wasn't something that I naturally was gifted in. Yes, I can follow a routine because I had I'm pretty consistent. But I started to understand, oh, this is an actual skill, because I started to realize, oh, this is what's needed. This isn't working. Like you don't need to put this in a routine. And I started to understand also what helped a routine stick in terms of what you need in order to maintain a routine.
Ashley Brown 6:52
Like because it's different sometimes yes, the skills that you learn to maintain the routine and being consistent with them is transferable. But how you stay consistent with like going to work every day is very different than how you stay consistent with the routine. It's just different. And so that is the first step that you have to understand is routine maintenance. Maintaining your routine, sticking to your routines is a learned skill. Because if you're anything like me, especially during that time, I was like How hard can it be? I'm that type. I'm like, how hard can it be? It's a routine. Like, let me just go ahead and put some steps together. And let me go ahead and just do it. And yeah, I fell flat on my face many of times and was like, why is this? what's going on? I don't get it. I don't understand. So routine maintenance sticking to your routines is a learned skill. So if you especially let me say this, especially if you are in a season, first of all, overall, but especially if you're in a season where you're highly stressed with a lot of overwhelm when life feels chaotic and crazy. You definitely need support when it comes to routines.
Ashley Brown 7:58
And so that's what I learned. And when I talked about it being a learned skill, this is the thing, it's multi layered here. It's not just oh, maintain your routine is a skill. It starts at the very beginning. And I'm gonna break this down, I'm gonna share it how it starts at the beginning. It starts with your perspective for one because who in here that's listening right now is the type of person where you're like, I know I need routines, Ashley. But I ain't trying to be around here doing nothing boring. I'm not trying to sit up here and have no rigid routine, like I ain't even that type of person to be having a routine. If you feel like that. Just say yep, that's me. Because some of us feel as if we don't have the personality traits in order to maintain a routine or just have routines a part of our life where like I'm free flow over here. I like to be spontaneous. I can't stick to nothing when you're trying to box me and girl, don't try to box me in. But that is where some of us get stuck. Because if your perspective about routines, right, that's an awareness that you have to have right? Don't shy away from it be like, Yeah, that's me.
Ashley Brown 9:01
Because when you know that maybe this is your perspective, what needs to happen is you have to shift that perspective, like yes, maybe you do like to be spontaneous. But that doesn't mean that you can't be in routine just because you're a spontaneous person. Because I bet that y'all brush your teeth every day in the same way and like get ready in the same way every single day. You follow the same route to work every single day, right? You are in routine in those ways. And so it's the same and really what a routine is, is just a supportive practice for you. You don't have to have a daily routine where you like checking off every box at certain moments of the day. No, I don't teach routines in that way, I think is really important to understand where routines are needed. And then where can you more so free flow and be more spontaneous in your life because I truly believe that it's important for us to have spontaneity in life to be able to free flow in certain moments, because if not, then we get so caught up in the rigidness of routines. And especially like, if you have kids, even if you don't being very rigid in your routines sometimes can really put a lot of pressure on you.
Ashley Brown 10:11
And that will make you cave under right cave under pressure, and then you're not able to keep your routine going. So first, it starts with your perspective, do you have a positive perspective around routines, they do not have to be rigid, they can be flexible, they do not have to be boring, they can be fun if you make them that way. Right. And so you having a positive perspective is the first thing that you have to learn and understand if you are even wanting to maintain routines a part of your life, because let me just say this, it can be hard to maintain a routine, when you have a viewpoint that isn't as healthy, it's like you're going against the thing that can help you in your mind. So you're not going to lean into it because you're already rejecting it before it even starts right before you even see how supportive it is in your life. And so how you view routine is major. Okay, so that's the first thing that's the first thing and then it being a learned skill, you maintaining your routines also has to deal with how you build your routine, because some of us be slapping routines together, we'd be slapping them together. And we're like, I just need some steps.
Ashley Brown 11:18
Let me just put these steps together and let me start and then we wonder why a week later, the routine is not in existence that the routine is off, we haven't been able to maintain it. Because how you build your routine is even a skill, you have to know what needs to be included in a routine, what isn't helpful to be included in the routine, you need to know how to do that. And that is super important. Because you can't just slap steps together and think that it's gonna work. You know, I remember reading those books, that's just like, This is what you do. You do these steps in the morning and you gonna feel good. And it's like, Yo, I don't want to have that life, sir. So thank you, but no, thank you like I don't, I can't stick to this. This is not helping me. And so when it comes to maintaining your routines, how you build your routines are also important. Okay, that is so important for you to think about and to process and to lean into it. Like do you even know how to build a routine? I'm answering someone's question and the routine and things community. And she was just saying how she always is rewriting her routines, like every month or needed to change it.
Ashley Brown 12:24
And when I was chatting back and forth with her, she ended up saying, Oh, it's because I forget my routine most of the time. And I'm like, bingo, if you're forgetting your routine, that is already a red flag that the routine is too complicated. Like if you're forgetting it is too complicated. And that deals with how you build your routine, right? Some of us can get very overzealous when it comes to starting a routine and building it. It's like, oh, I want to put 10 to 15 steps, girl, girl, you can barely make it out the door in the morning on time, we are about to put 10 or 15 steps into a routine right. And so that is important for us to understand that how you build your routine is directly aligned with the success that you will have in incorporating your routine into your life. If you want to have a successful routine that is incorporated into your life, how you build it matters, then the last thing is in the consistency itself, you have to understand what is needed and required for you to maintain your routine once you have built it. And once you get it up and going how do you actually maintain a routine you have to know this because if not, you're going to stop it after some time, right?
Ashley Brown 13:39
Sometimes the momentum, this is the thing, sometimes the momentum when we first started routine, because we're so excited, and we're like I'm ready to go and like this is going to change my life and life is gonna feel so much better. And so we're practicing our routines on momentum, momentum dies out. And so if you don't know how to practice your routines without having momentum, that is the key, you have to know how to practice your routines without momentum, because momentum is always going to carry but after that momentum dies out or in certain points in your day certain points in your week that momentum isn't there. What are you going to do then? Right, and that's about learning the skill of maintaining your routines. And I'll be talking about this just in more detail a little a little later in another episode in another show. Because this is important for you to know is like a huge part of maintaining your routine is learning how to maintain it when you aren't motivated. And that's important for you to learn if you are wanting to stick to a routine in general. So that is what I want for you to take away from today's show is that the first step when it comes to sticking to any routine is understanding that it is a learned skill.
Ashley Brown 14:51
Sticking to a routine is a learned skill. It's not just just because we don't feel like routines are rocket science, which they're not they're not rocket science. Now, we're not going that deep but what they are are supportive practices that you have to learn how to build and also maintain because what's the point of building something when you can keep it going? It's like wasting your time it's wasting your energy. It's not helpful. So sit with this today sit with this right? Do you know how to build a routine? Do you know how to keep it consistent? Oh my gosh, I thoroughly enjoyed having that conversation. It just takes me back to that time when I was like I need for every person that listens to this to know this is so critical when it comes to making your routine stick. It is so so critical. So hopefully that was helpful for you. Remember this conversation as you go about starting or restarting your routine. You can be consistent with your routines, you can make your routine stick and also be sure to subscribe to our YouTube channel. Thank you for joining me today. Until next time, continue to enjoy wherever you are, whatever you're doing, stay happy and I will talk to you soon.
Ashley Brown 16:01 [Outro]
Thanks for listening. If you enjoyed today's episode, take a screenshot and share it on social I would love to know you're listening. And for tools to help you start maintain and enjoy your routines. Be sure to head to routine and things.com Here's to staying happy