Routines absolutely have the power to change the way you live life and feel while doing so. In today’s episode of the Routine and Things Podcast I chat with my best friend about the ways routines have influenced her life personally. She shares how life looked before having healthy routines and how life feels now. She even gives you a few words of wisdom as you embark on your routine journey. Tune in to hear our intimate conversation!
Word For Word
Ashley Brown 0:00
Routines absolutely have the power to change the way you live life and feel while doing so. In today's episode of the routine and things podcast, I chat with my best friend about the ways routines have influenced her life personally. She shares how life looked before having healthy routines, and how life feels right now. She even gives you a few words of wisdom as you embark on your own routine journey. Tune in to hear our intimate and find conversation.
Ashley Brown 0:46
Reduce daily stress and keep overwhelm at bay using the routine and things planner, our one of a kind planner merges routines and planning to help you get organized and stay organized. You will build and incorporate routines into your life little by little. And using the signature routine block planning method you will organize your weekly tasks and so for routine categories to maintain a strong foundation for your home in your life. The things that typically get lost in the day to day shuffle will now be brought to the forefront every single week, which will help you lessen stress and avoid becoming overwhelmed. To get your very own routine and things planner, be sure to head to routine and things.com or click the link in the show notes. Hey, welcome back for another episode of the routine and things podcast. I'm your host, Ashley. And I'm super excited to be here with you for this episode where I chat with my bestie my friend of I don't know how many years we have known each other since college. We were college roommates. And so I chat with her about routines today because she is a huge fan of routines. And she's a definitely a huge fan of routine and things and anything that has to do with routine and things she was with me since the beginning. She's been here since the beginning of routine and things and me starting this business and helping to support women in this way. And I've even helped to support her in this way as she actually tells it. And so I'm excited to have this conversation with her today and to share it with you because this is something that I've been wanting to do. I've been wanting to have her on the podcast because routines have really shifted her life in a very major way. And so I want for you to hear what she has to say about this. But before we get into today's episode, I want for you to think about something for a second, I want for you to think right now how do you feel in life.
Ashley Brown 2:49
And if right now, you are saying things such as overwhelmed or chaotic or stressed or burned out, or uneasy, or just not good if those are the ways that you feel in life right now or any of those are how you feel right now, I want you to know there is something you can do about it. There are ways in which you can begin to make shifts in your life and progress. And I know one of those ways is by incorporating a really healthy routine into your life and starting there and start to build upon the routines you have in your life. And when I say routines, I mean healthy routines, routines that serve you that really helped to nourish you, that help you to live life in a more manageable way. Because I know that is something that you are capable of doing. You are capable of changing your life, if that's what you want to do, you are capable of feeling good in life. And so one of the ways that I hope you incorporate and routines is with a routine and things planner, which is available right now. It is actually on sale right now for $40. We're having a $40 Black Friday sale that is going to be going on all week long. And so if you would like to have the planner and get it for $40 You can do so today and throughout this week. So go get it it's a beautiful planner that merges routines, as well as planning to help you in getting and staying organized and being able to manage life in a way that feels good. So to check it out and to get your very own you can hit to routine and things.com forward slash plan or click the link in the show notes. Okay, so let's go ahead and get into today's episode.
Ashley Brown 4:52
As I said, I am chatting with my best friend Her name is Timmeshia Wilson. She's going to share a little bit more about herself. But like I said, we met in college, and we were college roommates. So we've known each other since 2010. No 2008. Wow, that's crazy. We know, we have known each other for so many years, over 10 years. Oh my gosh, that just blows my mind. And she is such a. She's such a light in my life. I love this woman. And so I'm excited to have her on the show, we are going to be chatting about routines and the ways routines have personally influenced her life. And she also shares some words of wisdom with you that I know will be very helpful for you as you start your own routine journey and just in managing life overall. So let's go ahead and get to it. I hope you enjoy our conversation. As the podcast rounds out, you know, we're coming to a close a really bittersweet, close of the podcast, but I wanted you to be on here to share your experience about routines. Because I feel like every time we voice message like every month, at some point in time, we're talking about routines you're sharing with me have routines have been really beneficial for you, or about a certain routine you've really been diving into and you've been with me since the beginning of routine and things like you were really I feel like you're kind of like some of the guinea pig of all the things that I was teaching. So with that, I really appreciate you and so here's where I want to start though, I want to start with us sharing a little bit about yourself. So just share with us a little bit about you about the fam.
Timmeshia Wilson 6:47
Okay, okay, so my name is Timmeshia Wilson. I'm from the south. I'm from North Carolina. But my family and I we live in New Jersey now. We've been here a number of years at this point. I am married. My husband and I we've been married for nine years. Oh, so that means we've been in New Jersey for eight. We've been New Jersey for eight. Kevin, I've been married for nine. We have three children. We have a baby who's five? Not really baby anymore. But she's five. And then we have our own this. Who's eight so they get super busy. For real? And then me I'm a full time stay at home mom. Yes.
Ashley Brown 7:29
So if y'all heard that she's a full time stay at home mom. And if you have followed my journey for a while, you know that I was a stay at home mom for about two and a half years. And during that time, that's when me and me she really got really close. That's when we really because we as you heard before in the beginning, me and her have known each other since college and so we were roommates for a while and so but this is when we really connected when I was a stay at home mom for those two and a half years and being a stay at home mom for anyone that is you know, it is a it can be a challenging job or a challenging role. It also has Joy so don't get me wrong Hass Joy's his highlights, but it's definitely not a walk in the park. Just like any any mom. You know, being a parent just isn't a walk in the park. But definitely I think sometimes it's this notion that stay at home moms have it better than working moms that have to go outside the home or work a typical job. And I would say because I've done both both comes with its pros comes with the things that we might change about it. But I love one thing about me that I want to share with y'all is is just what she was meant to do. Like that's the one thing I feel about her she was meant to be a stay at home mom, she loves it. She's enjoys it and just her kids are so beautiful in the way that she parents and in this role just is very inspiring. So thank you for sharing that with us, Mitch. Okay, so let's start here. Because I mean, I could ask you 1001 questions, but what I really want to know first and foremost, is let's go back to the beginning, right? The beginning where maybe, because I know for me when I started with routines. It was in this very challenging time in my life. And so I want to know, like, take me back to the time before maybe like before you had intentional routines, what did life look like for you then?
Timmeshia Wilson 9:28
That's kind of scary to think about. Life was really chaotic. I do the same from time to time where I was like, look at the photos on my phone and I would like scroll through and kind of like reflect over like, how we've grown and changed or just you know, smile when the babies were little. And I came across a photo I met if I came across a video of life before routines. All now we're almost like how was it are doing it it was it legit was like chaotic. I don't know if I showed him a video, but I took the video for myself so I could watch my progress. And yes, I changed quite a lot. But it was just chaos. Like literally it was like stuff everywhere. It was like clothes everywhere, toys everywhere, dishes everywhere. It was like, man, it was a madness like, and I can remember during those times, like bedtime was so inconsistent, like we just kind of we just flow with the wind, you know, it's like me cooking tonight. And my not cooking, it was very hit or miss. And in the mornings, I'm an achiever. So in the mornings, everything was just like rushed. And I want to just like get down, get down, get down, get down as much as I can. But it was no like rhyme or reason. It was just like, Let's wake up and let's just get it all done. And it was just pure chaos. And I constantly felt like overwhelmed. And like I was trying to like keep up, or I was rushing, if that makes sense, like trying to keep up with this imaginary goal. Or like rushing because I created this, like, annoyingly long to do list or my stuff. I'm like, I gotta get it all done. So it wasn't really fine.
Ashley Brown 11:11
Yeah, it doesn't sound like it. And I know. And I remember that time in your life. I remember that time in your life. And you said one thing that stood out to me is like you were overwhelmed. And I hear that a lot from the people and the women that come to routine and things like even during my time before I had intentional routines overwhelmed was an accurate word description of how I felt very overwhelmed in sometimes I've really defeated like, oh my gosh, I am not going to be able to even get this together especially like you said, for us like like overachievers that want to have things the right way. And we know we are capable. But it's like, why are things slipping through the cracks? Why does my life look like this? We have all of these degrees and accolades and and people think that we're just rock stars and insight. But wait, hold up, like you ain't been in my house this morning. But I totally get that. And during that time, what do you think was the effect on your mental health? But then also, I noticed kind of twofold question. But what was the effect on your mental health, if any, at all? And also, do you think that your family was affected by this,
Timmeshia Wilson 12:28
I think the way my house and the way my life was moving, was kind of a reflection of my mental health. Where there was just not a lot of personally like, I didn't feel secure, and confident in like who I am. So I it reflected in like waking up and trying to, like accomplish all this stuff. It's like, once we know who we are, where our work comes from, and when our value comes from, we don't need to do all of that, you know, but when we're trying to, for me when I was trying to prove my worth, or prove my value, like I found myself like over achieving and trying to do the most and trying to like, be in control of everything. And that's just not possible. Like it's just simply not possible to have control over everything. So I definitely feel like the way I moved in the world the way I moved in that in my home was kind of like a reflection of just like inner chaos and confusion. And I'm sure it had an effect on the babies I don't I don't have any like specific examples to kind of like support like how it affected them maybe Kevin though, like my has been getting like a snappy version of me like a worn out irritated snappy version of myself because I'm giving so much and trying to do so much and accomplish so much that like at the end of the day I'm like completely drained and I'm like I don't have any compassion I don't have any space for bonus I'm exhausted I don't I can't speak to like how the babies were impacted but definitely the marriage for sure.
Ashley Brown 14:15
Yeah, yeah.
Timmeshia Wilson 14:18
Just leave me alone so I can go to bed.
Ashley Brown 14:22
Let me just turn over and go to sleep no. I get that I get that because that you're the ability for some of us will come up I know I'm like that if I'm drained. I feel like most of us are we are irritability may show up in different ways. But when you are drained when you are exhausted when you're like I don't put out so much energy today. Like please don't ask me to pull out anymore. It's a wrap. I didn't already. I ain't got one more drop, or I'm about to explode. No, no, no, no, no. Um, you pointed out one thing that I think it's so important to not always stress this, I even just did a podcast episode on this that spoke to how it's so important for us to release control to a certain extent, like, especially with things we cannot control, and what things we cannot change, to be honest. And I think that control does sometimes lead that tight grip on certain things, or how we think things are supposed to go can really lead us astray at certain points in times in our lives. And one thing that I always want to share with my listeners, and hopefully this resonates with someone is that routines are a form of control to a certain extent. But I also don't want anyone using routines as to have a tight, tight light on something because the like, one thing that I stress the you know, this always stressed about routines are flexible they are, they can be fluid, in a sense. So if you think I'm gonna get a routine, that just means I'm going to be able to control what my kids do every moment, girl, because you're gonna be like, wait, hold up.
Ashley Brown 16:08
This routine ain't working, how I thought it was gonna work. I know, that's something that you have talked about is the flexibility with routines was really helpful for you to hear. But I really want to know, in what ways have routines helped you as a mom?
Timmeshia Wilson 16:25
Yeah. So I'm glad you asked that question. Because to your point about routines can be a small form of control, but then, not really, if that makes any sense. That ties directly into like, how they've helped me because one of the ways that they help is like it does keep me grounded in the midst of the chaos, because the reality is, while things are not nearly as chaotic as they once were before, and tissue routines, life is messy, right. So, of course there are days when like, is chaotic, right, we go to bed at night, and I don't feel like tidying up. So I'm waking up in the morning, and the living room is a mess. Or maybe the dishes weren't washed in the sake. And so it's a little bit messy. And you wake I woke up one morning and my middle son is like I have chest pain, really chest pain, and you're ready to school that you come to. It's so scary, right? And so it's like but even on those days, like the routine really did ground me because like, Okay, I'm not going to worry about the dishes right now, I'm not going to worry about cleaning up the room, I am going to worry about his chest pain. But in order to like get everybody out the house or get them to the urgent care, let's lean on our routine, right? Our morning routine. Everybody is this kind of goes into like, the other day routines helped me with it gives me like predictability. And we know what to expect. Everybody knows what to expect. We wake up in the morning. And like, for example, the kids they know they get up, they eat their breakfast, that's step one. They're like I normally hear them like teetering outside. So I'm like, Alright, it's time to get up. While they're doing their breakfast. Mostly I take their clothes out like the night before. So while they're eating their breakfast, I'll go in on their clothes. So they're eating breakfast, I'm on a post, I finished the clothes, they finished the breakfast, they go brush your teeth, wash their face, put on the clothes. So while they're doing that, I'm in the kitchen, doing the final finishing touches with like their lunchbox, I finished that they finished putting on their clothes, they take the lunchbox, put it in the book bag, we're ready to go. So it's kind of like our go to routine. Everybody knows what to do. Everybody knows what to expect. So we don't feel as rushed. It doesn't feel as chaotic. It's not like, you know, even though there's could be some chaos around us, like that routine kind of grounds us and gives us that structure, it gives that stability.
Timmeshia Wilson 18:52
So we have a look what is still like chaos, the chaos going on about that makes any sense. So it just kind of helps in that regard. And then like for me, personally, like my morning routine really, really helps because I'm an I'm a thinker, and sometimes that can be like an over thinker. So routines have really, really helped to like reduce that mental load for me, gives me a chance to kind of just like be on like kind of autopilot and not have to think so much right? So like when I wake up in the morning or my morning routine, like I'll check in with myself, I'll do my meditation, I'll do my Bible reading and then I'll review like a quick plan of the day. And sometimes the plan of the day so like don't do nothing today. We are resting today. There's nothing to do. But it's like I do it every morning like I honestly don't even have to think about it and sometimes it can kind of suck I'll wake up at three o'clock in the morning my brain is like oh let's do our routine. Like go to sleep. I was literally is like literally on autopilot. I don't think I don't have to worry I wake up and I branches already knows this is what we're going to do. So that has truly helped. Just reducing that mental load reducing that like decision fatigue and mental fog giving us that structure given us this ability, and then helping to like ground us, even when life can be a little messy.
Ashley Brown 20:17
Thank you, thank you for sharing that. Because it does that mental load, I always share that mental. I mean, if you're a thinker, if you're an over thinker, if you're constantly in your head, which I feel like us as women, that's just kind of comes with the territory sometimes, especially because I feel like we manage a lot of the household and so that mental overload can really cause a ton of stress, a ton of overwhelming so when you can have routines in place that really is beneficial. I heard you mention two routines. Specifically, you mentioned your morning routine. And you also mentioned your family's morning routine. What are a few other routines that you you all have like your family or even you
Timmeshia Wilson 21:03
I know, we're talking about flexibility that that is self care routine, but I feel like it is ever changing, depending on like what my needs are for that season of life, which is a cool thing about routines, right? Because they you can change them, you can make it specific to what were those steps. It was a simple, realistic, yet flexible, and something else. But like literally that's how it's been in my life, especially with the self care one because it's always like changing dependent on like, summertime or like fall time or like we're starting school and now was winter. But then like, but our bedtime routine for the children in particular that's a that's a solid one. Like they know, kid out your pajamas is this new thing that we are doing now where everybody is like screaming I need I need a towel. And so we've had to modify our routine. And Noah is the noodle baby he was today before he went into the bathroom. He's like walking around. I'm like, No, go ahead and take a bath. And he's like, I gotta gather all my things right? So we've had to change our routine before they were just going to take a bath. Now like I'm telling you screaming asking me for a towel. So before you go in there are step one is gather your pajamas and get your towel and then go take a bath. So it's super cute. He's like moving slow trying to search for his towel or when I'm like kicking the bathtub. Anywho so is gather yourself, take care that brush your teeth, put on your pajamas, ready for bed. And like everybody knows, we don't have to ask questions. You know what it is? Let's just do our bedtime routine. So that is help.
Ashley Brown 22:38
What is your favorite routine?
Timmeshia Wilson 22:40
Oh, that's a fun one. I feel like self care is my favorite.
Ashley Brown 22:45
What things have you been doing lately for self care this month?
Timmeshia Wilson 22:48
For the month of November it's been I've had like this big urge to get back into doing crafts. And they've been so much fun. It is like a little bit of a routine I get my coffee or my tea. I like to go near the window because I love to be in nature. And honestly, it doesn't even matter if the weather permits or not. Sometimes I left the woodwork regardless and my family like but like I just made the vineyard nature. So I have my tea I have under the window and then I get up my craft supplies. And I turn on some like this morning I was doing I just listen to some music. It just depends on the mood, like the mood of the day, you get to change the music to match how you're feeling. And I was just lost in my crafts for like a good hour and a half. And it was just like so relaxing. So grounding, so soothing. And I'm really, really have been enjoying it. So I'm just going to ride this way because you know, things come in seasons and then after long it's like alright, I want to move on to something else. But right now is the crafts is the nature. It's the tea, or the coffee for me and like nothing else matters. Anything going around, I'm like, Oh, I got a little craft. I'm grounded. I'm okay. So that's been my go to that's been really fun.
Ashley Brown 24:12
I love that. I love that you were saying about music. We actually just started listening, turning on Christmas music, the girls. The girls love Christmas music and so I was like I was thinking does she listen to Christmas music already? So for any of my Christmas fans is that they listen to your Christmas music. I'm with you. I'm with you. No, but that's beautiful. That is so beautiful. I love the crabs. I've been doing more of like the dancing like I'll have the little dance parties for myself. That has been really beautiful. I even dance with the girls the other day with the they loved What is that song called by Destiny's Child the eight days of Christmas. Oh they love that song. They wanted me to keep playing it. They loved it. And we was dream and so self care is so important for us. Okay, so as we wrap this up, I'll have one final question for you. And you've been a joy. You know, I love you. And the final question is really, for anybody listening right now, if you have any advice for women who may be struggling to manage life right now, what piece of advice or suggestion could you give them?
Timmeshia Wilson 25:25
Firstly, I would like for them to know they're not alone. I know, I have felt that way. And dependent on the season in my life, that was fillings can reemerge. The only difference now is I do have routine and like, the resources that you offer the routine of things, the book, the planner, and then just like the podcast, your words of wisdom, like that really has helped, it really has helped. And so I would say to them, like, know you're not alone. And also know that you're in the right place if you are taking advantage of these resources. But don't be like me and feel like you need to like tackle all of the resources, implement all of them all at once. Like, take it slow. One, you know, one strategy at a time. Give yourself some grace, figure out if it makes sense for you if it works for you. If not, I'm sure there's another tool. Another strategy you can use in that 100% does make things better, it can turn it around for you always feel like that.
Ashley Brown 26:31
Thank you. Thank you so much. Do you have a favorite like quote or mantra that you keep in your It can even be a Bible verse that you keep in your back pocket and you pull it out often to help ground you.
Timmeshia Wilson 26:49
Lately this week, it's been years more of like a mantra, just like an affirmations like I am okay. I am safe. Nothing bad is happening to me right now. And so when I remind myself of that, it's like, do we really need to be that stressed about this? Because truth be told, I'm safe. I'm okay. You know, do I really need to check that final thing off the list? I'm safe. I'm okay. Nothing bad is happening to me right now. So that is I don't know why he's been grounding me for this week. But those three things like when I'm finding myself wanting to control or overtake or just like flip out. I will go sit in economies. I'm safe. I'm okay. Nothing bad is happening to me right now. And so for some reason that has really been grounding me for this week. And we'll see how long it helps. Yes,
Ashley Brown 27:43
thank you. Thank you so much girl. You know I love you. Thank you for all of the Insight just sharing your experience with us. Thank you for being along on this journey with me as I started routine and things and even as the podcast is coming to the to our clothes routine and things isn't going anywhere. Just the podcast will be ending at the end of the month. But thank you again I love you. And you know I'm always wishing the best you know we're going to be talking after this. So thank you.
Timmeshia Wilson 28:13
Thank you for having me. This was fun. This is a lot of fun.
Ashley Brown 28:17
I hope that that was helpful for you just hearing our conversation. It was so fun chatting with Tanisha I really really love this woman and the words that she shared especially that mantra that she shared I am okay I am safe. Nothing bad is happening to me right now. I want for you to take that with you if you need to. And if that resonates and feels powerful for you right now and something that you need take it use it in your life and I am so rooting for you when it comes to you incorporate and routines into your life because they are a way for you to manage this chaos of life is helps you to have control chaos, not just any type of chaos but controlled chaos, which is not a bad thing. Controlled Chaos is a good thing, right?
Ashley Brown 29:13
And so I am rooting for you in that. So just so you know this is the next to last episode to air of the routine and things podcast next week will be our final episode our farewell episode of the routine and things podcast which is bittersweet and I am excited to chat with you next week about where things go from here as well as say a huge thank you and express gratitude for you being a listener of the podcast. But before you go I do want to remind you that the planner, the routine and things planner is available for you right now it is $40 with our Black Friday sale $40 Black Friday and so if you want to grab the planter for only $40 which is a very deep and steep discount. If you want to grab the planner you can do so at routine and things.com forward slash plan or click the link in the show notes. Get yours today girl it is very, very helpful and you can read all the reviews on the website. Alright, but that's it for today. I hope that you return next week for the farewell episode. But until next time, continue to enjoy wherever you are. Whatever you're doing, stay happy girl, and I will talk to you next week.
Ashley Brown 30:34
If you enjoyed today's episode, take a screenshot and share it on social I would love to know you're listening. And for tools to help you start maintain and enjoy your routines. Be sure to head to routine and things.com Here's to staying happy.
Routines absolutely have the power to change the way you live life and feel while doing so. In today's episode of the routine and things podcast, I chat with my best friend about the ways routines have influenced her life personally. She shares how life looked before having healthy routines, and how life feels right now. She even gives you a few words of wisdom as you embark on your own routine journey. Tune in to hear our intimate and find conversation.
Ashley Brown 0:46
Reduce daily stress and keep overwhelm at bay using the routine and things planner, our one of a kind planner merges routines and planning to help you get organized and stay organized. You will build and incorporate routines into your life little by little. And using the signature routine block planning method you will organize your weekly tasks and so for routine categories to maintain a strong foundation for your home in your life. The things that typically get lost in the day to day shuffle will now be brought to the forefront every single week, which will help you lessen stress and avoid becoming overwhelmed. To get your very own routine and things planner, be sure to head to routine and things.com or click the link in the show notes. Hey, welcome back for another episode of the routine and things podcast. I'm your host, Ashley. And I'm super excited to be here with you for this episode where I chat with my bestie my friend of I don't know how many years we have known each other since college. We were college roommates. And so I chat with her about routines today because she is a huge fan of routines. And she's a definitely a huge fan of routine and things and anything that has to do with routine and things she was with me since the beginning. She's been here since the beginning of routine and things and me starting this business and helping to support women in this way. And I've even helped to support her in this way as she actually tells it. And so I'm excited to have this conversation with her today and to share it with you because this is something that I've been wanting to do. I've been wanting to have her on the podcast because routines have really shifted her life in a very major way. And so I want for you to hear what she has to say about this. But before we get into today's episode, I want for you to think about something for a second, I want for you to think right now how do you feel in life.
Ashley Brown 2:49
And if right now, you are saying things such as overwhelmed or chaotic or stressed or burned out, or uneasy, or just not good if those are the ways that you feel in life right now or any of those are how you feel right now, I want you to know there is something you can do about it. There are ways in which you can begin to make shifts in your life and progress. And I know one of those ways is by incorporating a really healthy routine into your life and starting there and start to build upon the routines you have in your life. And when I say routines, I mean healthy routines, routines that serve you that really helped to nourish you, that help you to live life in a more manageable way. Because I know that is something that you are capable of doing. You are capable of changing your life, if that's what you want to do, you are capable of feeling good in life. And so one of the ways that I hope you incorporate and routines is with a routine and things planner, which is available right now. It is actually on sale right now for $40. We're having a $40 Black Friday sale that is going to be going on all week long. And so if you would like to have the planner and get it for $40 You can do so today and throughout this week. So go get it it's a beautiful planner that merges routines, as well as planning to help you in getting and staying organized and being able to manage life in a way that feels good. So to check it out and to get your very own you can hit to routine and things.com forward slash plan or click the link in the show notes. Okay, so let's go ahead and get into today's episode.
Ashley Brown 4:52
As I said, I am chatting with my best friend Her name is Timmeshia Wilson. She's going to share a little bit more about herself. But like I said, we met in college, and we were college roommates. So we've known each other since 2010. No 2008. Wow, that's crazy. We know, we have known each other for so many years, over 10 years. Oh my gosh, that just blows my mind. And she is such a. She's such a light in my life. I love this woman. And so I'm excited to have her on the show, we are going to be chatting about routines and the ways routines have personally influenced her life. And she also shares some words of wisdom with you that I know will be very helpful for you as you start your own routine journey and just in managing life overall. So let's go ahead and get to it. I hope you enjoy our conversation. As the podcast rounds out, you know, we're coming to a close a really bittersweet, close of the podcast, but I wanted you to be on here to share your experience about routines. Because I feel like every time we voice message like every month, at some point in time, we're talking about routines you're sharing with me have routines have been really beneficial for you, or about a certain routine you've really been diving into and you've been with me since the beginning of routine and things like you were really I feel like you're kind of like some of the guinea pig of all the things that I was teaching. So with that, I really appreciate you and so here's where I want to start though, I want to start with us sharing a little bit about yourself. So just share with us a little bit about you about the fam.
Timmeshia Wilson 6:47
Okay, okay, so my name is Timmeshia Wilson. I'm from the south. I'm from North Carolina. But my family and I we live in New Jersey now. We've been here a number of years at this point. I am married. My husband and I we've been married for nine years. Oh, so that means we've been in New Jersey for eight. We've been New Jersey for eight. Kevin, I've been married for nine. We have three children. We have a baby who's five? Not really baby anymore. But she's five. And then we have our own this. Who's eight so they get super busy. For real? And then me I'm a full time stay at home mom. Yes.
Ashley Brown 7:29
So if y'all heard that she's a full time stay at home mom. And if you have followed my journey for a while, you know that I was a stay at home mom for about two and a half years. And during that time, that's when me and me she really got really close. That's when we really because we as you heard before in the beginning, me and her have known each other since college and so we were roommates for a while and so but this is when we really connected when I was a stay at home mom for those two and a half years and being a stay at home mom for anyone that is you know, it is a it can be a challenging job or a challenging role. It also has Joy so don't get me wrong Hass Joy's his highlights, but it's definitely not a walk in the park. Just like any any mom. You know, being a parent just isn't a walk in the park. But definitely I think sometimes it's this notion that stay at home moms have it better than working moms that have to go outside the home or work a typical job. And I would say because I've done both both comes with its pros comes with the things that we might change about it. But I love one thing about me that I want to share with y'all is is just what she was meant to do. Like that's the one thing I feel about her she was meant to be a stay at home mom, she loves it. She's enjoys it and just her kids are so beautiful in the way that she parents and in this role just is very inspiring. So thank you for sharing that with us, Mitch. Okay, so let's start here. Because I mean, I could ask you 1001 questions, but what I really want to know first and foremost, is let's go back to the beginning, right? The beginning where maybe, because I know for me when I started with routines. It was in this very challenging time in my life. And so I want to know, like, take me back to the time before maybe like before you had intentional routines, what did life look like for you then?
Timmeshia Wilson 9:28
That's kind of scary to think about. Life was really chaotic. I do the same from time to time where I was like, look at the photos on my phone and I would like scroll through and kind of like reflect over like, how we've grown and changed or just you know, smile when the babies were little. And I came across a photo I met if I came across a video of life before routines. All now we're almost like how was it are doing it it was it legit was like chaotic. I don't know if I showed him a video, but I took the video for myself so I could watch my progress. And yes, I changed quite a lot. But it was just chaos. Like literally it was like stuff everywhere. It was like clothes everywhere, toys everywhere, dishes everywhere. It was like, man, it was a madness like, and I can remember during those times, like bedtime was so inconsistent, like we just kind of we just flow with the wind, you know, it's like me cooking tonight. And my not cooking, it was very hit or miss. And in the mornings, I'm an achiever. So in the mornings, everything was just like rushed. And I want to just like get down, get down, get down, get down as much as I can. But it was no like rhyme or reason. It was just like, Let's wake up and let's just get it all done. And it was just pure chaos. And I constantly felt like overwhelmed. And like I was trying to like keep up, or I was rushing, if that makes sense, like trying to keep up with this imaginary goal. Or like rushing because I created this, like, annoyingly long to do list or my stuff. I'm like, I gotta get it all done. So it wasn't really fine.
Ashley Brown 11:11
Yeah, it doesn't sound like it. And I know. And I remember that time in your life. I remember that time in your life. And you said one thing that stood out to me is like you were overwhelmed. And I hear that a lot from the people and the women that come to routine and things like even during my time before I had intentional routines overwhelmed was an accurate word description of how I felt very overwhelmed in sometimes I've really defeated like, oh my gosh, I am not going to be able to even get this together especially like you said, for us like like overachievers that want to have things the right way. And we know we are capable. But it's like, why are things slipping through the cracks? Why does my life look like this? We have all of these degrees and accolades and and people think that we're just rock stars and insight. But wait, hold up, like you ain't been in my house this morning. But I totally get that. And during that time, what do you think was the effect on your mental health? But then also, I noticed kind of twofold question. But what was the effect on your mental health, if any, at all? And also, do you think that your family was affected by this,
Timmeshia Wilson 12:28
I think the way my house and the way my life was moving, was kind of a reflection of my mental health. Where there was just not a lot of personally like, I didn't feel secure, and confident in like who I am. So I it reflected in like waking up and trying to, like accomplish all this stuff. It's like, once we know who we are, where our work comes from, and when our value comes from, we don't need to do all of that, you know, but when we're trying to, for me when I was trying to prove my worth, or prove my value, like I found myself like over achieving and trying to do the most and trying to like, be in control of everything. And that's just not possible. Like it's just simply not possible to have control over everything. So I definitely feel like the way I moved in the world the way I moved in that in my home was kind of like a reflection of just like inner chaos and confusion. And I'm sure it had an effect on the babies I don't I don't have any like specific examples to kind of like support like how it affected them maybe Kevin though, like my has been getting like a snappy version of me like a worn out irritated snappy version of myself because I'm giving so much and trying to do so much and accomplish so much that like at the end of the day I'm like completely drained and I'm like I don't have any compassion I don't have any space for bonus I'm exhausted I don't I can't speak to like how the babies were impacted but definitely the marriage for sure.
Ashley Brown 14:15
Yeah, yeah.
Timmeshia Wilson 14:18
Just leave me alone so I can go to bed.
Ashley Brown 14:22
Let me just turn over and go to sleep no. I get that I get that because that you're the ability for some of us will come up I know I'm like that if I'm drained. I feel like most of us are we are irritability may show up in different ways. But when you are drained when you are exhausted when you're like I don't put out so much energy today. Like please don't ask me to pull out anymore. It's a wrap. I didn't already. I ain't got one more drop, or I'm about to explode. No, no, no, no, no. Um, you pointed out one thing that I think it's so important to not always stress this, I even just did a podcast episode on this that spoke to how it's so important for us to release control to a certain extent, like, especially with things we cannot control, and what things we cannot change, to be honest. And I think that control does sometimes lead that tight grip on certain things, or how we think things are supposed to go can really lead us astray at certain points in times in our lives. And one thing that I always want to share with my listeners, and hopefully this resonates with someone is that routines are a form of control to a certain extent. But I also don't want anyone using routines as to have a tight, tight light on something because the like, one thing that I stress the you know, this always stressed about routines are flexible they are, they can be fluid, in a sense. So if you think I'm gonna get a routine, that just means I'm going to be able to control what my kids do every moment, girl, because you're gonna be like, wait, hold up.
Ashley Brown 16:08
This routine ain't working, how I thought it was gonna work. I know, that's something that you have talked about is the flexibility with routines was really helpful for you to hear. But I really want to know, in what ways have routines helped you as a mom?
Timmeshia Wilson 16:25
Yeah. So I'm glad you asked that question. Because to your point about routines can be a small form of control, but then, not really, if that makes any sense. That ties directly into like, how they've helped me because one of the ways that they help is like it does keep me grounded in the midst of the chaos, because the reality is, while things are not nearly as chaotic as they once were before, and tissue routines, life is messy, right. So, of course there are days when like, is chaotic, right, we go to bed at night, and I don't feel like tidying up. So I'm waking up in the morning, and the living room is a mess. Or maybe the dishes weren't washed in the sake. And so it's a little bit messy. And you wake I woke up one morning and my middle son is like I have chest pain, really chest pain, and you're ready to school that you come to. It's so scary, right? And so it's like but even on those days, like the routine really did ground me because like, Okay, I'm not going to worry about the dishes right now, I'm not going to worry about cleaning up the room, I am going to worry about his chest pain. But in order to like get everybody out the house or get them to the urgent care, let's lean on our routine, right? Our morning routine. Everybody is this kind of goes into like, the other day routines helped me with it gives me like predictability. And we know what to expect. Everybody knows what to expect. We wake up in the morning. And like, for example, the kids they know they get up, they eat their breakfast, that's step one. They're like I normally hear them like teetering outside. So I'm like, Alright, it's time to get up. While they're doing their breakfast. Mostly I take their clothes out like the night before. So while they're eating their breakfast, I'll go in on their clothes. So they're eating breakfast, I'm on a post, I finished the clothes, they finished the breakfast, they go brush your teeth, wash their face, put on the clothes. So while they're doing that, I'm in the kitchen, doing the final finishing touches with like their lunchbox, I finished that they finished putting on their clothes, they take the lunchbox, put it in the book bag, we're ready to go. So it's kind of like our go to routine. Everybody knows what to do. Everybody knows what to expect. So we don't feel as rushed. It doesn't feel as chaotic. It's not like, you know, even though there's could be some chaos around us, like that routine kind of grounds us and gives us that structure, it gives that stability.
Timmeshia Wilson 18:52
So we have a look what is still like chaos, the chaos going on about that makes any sense. So it just kind of helps in that regard. And then like for me, personally, like my morning routine really, really helps because I'm an I'm a thinker, and sometimes that can be like an over thinker. So routines have really, really helped to like reduce that mental load for me, gives me a chance to kind of just like be on like kind of autopilot and not have to think so much right? So like when I wake up in the morning or my morning routine, like I'll check in with myself, I'll do my meditation, I'll do my Bible reading and then I'll review like a quick plan of the day. And sometimes the plan of the day so like don't do nothing today. We are resting today. There's nothing to do. But it's like I do it every morning like I honestly don't even have to think about it and sometimes it can kind of suck I'll wake up at three o'clock in the morning my brain is like oh let's do our routine. Like go to sleep. I was literally is like literally on autopilot. I don't think I don't have to worry I wake up and I branches already knows this is what we're going to do. So that has truly helped. Just reducing that mental load reducing that like decision fatigue and mental fog giving us that structure given us this ability, and then helping to like ground us, even when life can be a little messy.
Ashley Brown 20:17
Thank you, thank you for sharing that. Because it does that mental load, I always share that mental. I mean, if you're a thinker, if you're an over thinker, if you're constantly in your head, which I feel like us as women, that's just kind of comes with the territory sometimes, especially because I feel like we manage a lot of the household and so that mental overload can really cause a ton of stress, a ton of overwhelming so when you can have routines in place that really is beneficial. I heard you mention two routines. Specifically, you mentioned your morning routine. And you also mentioned your family's morning routine. What are a few other routines that you you all have like your family or even you
Timmeshia Wilson 21:03
I know, we're talking about flexibility that that is self care routine, but I feel like it is ever changing, depending on like what my needs are for that season of life, which is a cool thing about routines, right? Because they you can change them, you can make it specific to what were those steps. It was a simple, realistic, yet flexible, and something else. But like literally that's how it's been in my life, especially with the self care one because it's always like changing dependent on like, summertime or like fall time or like we're starting school and now was winter. But then like, but our bedtime routine for the children in particular that's a that's a solid one. Like they know, kid out your pajamas is this new thing that we are doing now where everybody is like screaming I need I need a towel. And so we've had to modify our routine. And Noah is the noodle baby he was today before he went into the bathroom. He's like walking around. I'm like, No, go ahead and take a bath. And he's like, I gotta gather all my things right? So we've had to change our routine before they were just going to take a bath. Now like I'm telling you screaming asking me for a towel. So before you go in there are step one is gather your pajamas and get your towel and then go take a bath. So it's super cute. He's like moving slow trying to search for his towel or when I'm like kicking the bathtub. Anywho so is gather yourself, take care that brush your teeth, put on your pajamas, ready for bed. And like everybody knows, we don't have to ask questions. You know what it is? Let's just do our bedtime routine. So that is help.
Ashley Brown 22:38
What is your favorite routine?
Timmeshia Wilson 22:40
Oh, that's a fun one. I feel like self care is my favorite.
Ashley Brown 22:45
What things have you been doing lately for self care this month?
Timmeshia Wilson 22:48
For the month of November it's been I've had like this big urge to get back into doing crafts. And they've been so much fun. It is like a little bit of a routine I get my coffee or my tea. I like to go near the window because I love to be in nature. And honestly, it doesn't even matter if the weather permits or not. Sometimes I left the woodwork regardless and my family like but like I just made the vineyard nature. So I have my tea I have under the window and then I get up my craft supplies. And I turn on some like this morning I was doing I just listen to some music. It just depends on the mood, like the mood of the day, you get to change the music to match how you're feeling. And I was just lost in my crafts for like a good hour and a half. And it was just like so relaxing. So grounding, so soothing. And I'm really, really have been enjoying it. So I'm just going to ride this way because you know, things come in seasons and then after long it's like alright, I want to move on to something else. But right now is the crafts is the nature. It's the tea, or the coffee for me and like nothing else matters. Anything going around, I'm like, Oh, I got a little craft. I'm grounded. I'm okay. So that's been my go to that's been really fun.
Ashley Brown 24:12
I love that. I love that you were saying about music. We actually just started listening, turning on Christmas music, the girls. The girls love Christmas music and so I was like I was thinking does she listen to Christmas music already? So for any of my Christmas fans is that they listen to your Christmas music. I'm with you. I'm with you. No, but that's beautiful. That is so beautiful. I love the crabs. I've been doing more of like the dancing like I'll have the little dance parties for myself. That has been really beautiful. I even dance with the girls the other day with the they loved What is that song called by Destiny's Child the eight days of Christmas. Oh they love that song. They wanted me to keep playing it. They loved it. And we was dream and so self care is so important for us. Okay, so as we wrap this up, I'll have one final question for you. And you've been a joy. You know, I love you. And the final question is really, for anybody listening right now, if you have any advice for women who may be struggling to manage life right now, what piece of advice or suggestion could you give them?
Timmeshia Wilson 25:25
Firstly, I would like for them to know they're not alone. I know, I have felt that way. And dependent on the season in my life, that was fillings can reemerge. The only difference now is I do have routine and like, the resources that you offer the routine of things, the book, the planner, and then just like the podcast, your words of wisdom, like that really has helped, it really has helped. And so I would say to them, like, know you're not alone. And also know that you're in the right place if you are taking advantage of these resources. But don't be like me and feel like you need to like tackle all of the resources, implement all of them all at once. Like, take it slow. One, you know, one strategy at a time. Give yourself some grace, figure out if it makes sense for you if it works for you. If not, I'm sure there's another tool. Another strategy you can use in that 100% does make things better, it can turn it around for you always feel like that.
Ashley Brown 26:31
Thank you. Thank you so much. Do you have a favorite like quote or mantra that you keep in your It can even be a Bible verse that you keep in your back pocket and you pull it out often to help ground you.
Timmeshia Wilson 26:49
Lately this week, it's been years more of like a mantra, just like an affirmations like I am okay. I am safe. Nothing bad is happening to me right now. And so when I remind myself of that, it's like, do we really need to be that stressed about this? Because truth be told, I'm safe. I'm okay. You know, do I really need to check that final thing off the list? I'm safe. I'm okay. Nothing bad is happening to me right now. So that is I don't know why he's been grounding me for this week. But those three things like when I'm finding myself wanting to control or overtake or just like flip out. I will go sit in economies. I'm safe. I'm okay. Nothing bad is happening to me right now. And so for some reason that has really been grounding me for this week. And we'll see how long it helps. Yes,
Ashley Brown 27:43
thank you. Thank you so much girl. You know I love you. Thank you for all of the Insight just sharing your experience with us. Thank you for being along on this journey with me as I started routine and things and even as the podcast is coming to the to our clothes routine and things isn't going anywhere. Just the podcast will be ending at the end of the month. But thank you again I love you. And you know I'm always wishing the best you know we're going to be talking after this. So thank you.
Timmeshia Wilson 28:13
Thank you for having me. This was fun. This is a lot of fun.
Ashley Brown 28:17
I hope that that was helpful for you just hearing our conversation. It was so fun chatting with Tanisha I really really love this woman and the words that she shared especially that mantra that she shared I am okay I am safe. Nothing bad is happening to me right now. I want for you to take that with you if you need to. And if that resonates and feels powerful for you right now and something that you need take it use it in your life and I am so rooting for you when it comes to you incorporate and routines into your life because they are a way for you to manage this chaos of life is helps you to have control chaos, not just any type of chaos but controlled chaos, which is not a bad thing. Controlled Chaos is a good thing, right?
Ashley Brown 29:13
And so I am rooting for you in that. So just so you know this is the next to last episode to air of the routine and things podcast next week will be our final episode our farewell episode of the routine and things podcast which is bittersweet and I am excited to chat with you next week about where things go from here as well as say a huge thank you and express gratitude for you being a listener of the podcast. But before you go I do want to remind you that the planner, the routine and things planner is available for you right now it is $40 with our Black Friday sale $40 Black Friday and so if you want to grab the planter for only $40 which is a very deep and steep discount. If you want to grab the planner you can do so at routine and things.com forward slash plan or click the link in the show notes. Get yours today girl it is very, very helpful and you can read all the reviews on the website. Alright, but that's it for today. I hope that you return next week for the farewell episode. But until next time, continue to enjoy wherever you are. Whatever you're doing, stay happy girl, and I will talk to you next week.
Ashley Brown 30:34
If you enjoyed today's episode, take a screenshot and share it on social I would love to know you're listening. And for tools to help you start maintain and enjoy your routines. Be sure to head to routine and things.com Here's to staying happy.